Weeping Willow

(I wrote this short blog many years ago for a group of people dealing with hurts and wounds from past traumatic events. Looking back, I see God's faithfulness, goodness and healing so beautifully displayed in the lives of those who bow before Him in complete surrender.)

She bends over, bowed at the knee.  Her back is arched as her hair and arms bend to the ground.  It is both a sad and a beautiful sight to behold – that of Weeping Willow.  

There is no hiding for Weeping Willow.  God made Willow to be tall and magnificent in spite of her great sorrows and weaknesses.  She cannot run and hide; she was created as a picture of beauty in weakness.  She is not put together like the mighty oak that stands at attention with strong leaves clinging closely.  Instead, her loose branches sway to and fro in the wind; scattering leaves tumultuously all around that drop slowly from bowed branches.

Willow is a sight to behold.  She is strong, and she is humble.  

I have great respect for Weeping Willow.  She has shown me that true grief and weeping can produce beauty beyond description.  Many people view her as large and messy, but I embrace her willingness to be true to her unique design.  

I have never embraced grief or sadness.  I have looked on it as shameful, viewed it as weakness.  Yet, as I stare at Willow, I see only beauty and strength.  Could grieving and sadness produce such beauty in my own life?  Could I give myself permission to be broken and messy without excuse, knowing that sorrow and suffering, in time, produce peace and joy?

It’s hard to believe in the middle of sorrow and suffering that our grief produces songs of joy; but that’s exactly what we are told in Psalm 126:5 & 6 (NIV), “Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.  He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.”

Perhaps Weeping Willow is a visual reminder to us all of our great need for a God who promises to be “close to the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18 NIV).  It’s when we bow our knees and bend our hearts that we can most clearly hear the voice of the One who knit us together in our mother’s womb and created our inmost being.

Though I do not know how long Weeping Willow must weep, she appears unfaltering in her posture and unhurried in her grief.  

So I, too, will maintain this posture of worship as I sit still in my own grief, not hiding myself away during a painful, messy, tumultuous, beautiful season.

Stay the Course…

Sheila

And Just Like That...

I have a very good friend who for the past twenty plus years has been a constant in my world. We no longer live geographically close yet our hearts remain connected across the miles. When one of us is going through something, either good or bad, a simple phone call requires no small talk —we get right down to the issue at hand.

Recently, as she has re-entered being a part of the body of Christ, the Spirit has revealed an area of her heart requiring attention: forgiveness. She has withheld forgiveness toward several people in her world who over the years have hurt her deeply, including but not limited to family members. Because of our constant friendship; I know the back story to every single hurt. I have watched the walls of self-protection slowly erect until at last she had not only isolated her heart from those who had hurt her, but she had also stopped going to church altogether. 

Forgiveness. She called not too long ago with questions about how to forgive a person who had caused so much pain. I’ll be honest, talking to a person about forgiveness has a way of bringing old memories to surface as well as shining a spotlight into areas of one’s own heart where forgiveness has not yet been given. 

We read in Mark 11:24 “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Our Father, who knows the heart of man, reiterates throughout His Word the importance and absolute necessity of forgiveness. When Jesus teaches us how to pray, forgiveness is key: “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Mt. 6:12)  A verse later he takes it a step deeper, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Mt. 6:14-15)

Unforgiveness has been linked to sickness and death; forgiveness is linked to vitality and health being restored to one’s body and mind. 

Jesus, our perfect example, taught us how to forgive by how He lived. He also taught us how to forgive by how He died. In one of His final breaths on the cross He prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Lk. 23:34)

Though He had done nothing wrong, Jesus forgave those who sinned against Him-every one of us. Because of His love for us and the Spirit He has given each one of us who believe, we too are able to choose love through forgiveness.  If we are willing to forgive, God will always provide us with opportunities to do so.

Because of the time zone difference between my friend and myself, I often wake up to texts from her. This morning I awoke to a text regarding a person she had not spoken to in years whom she knew she needed to forgive. She did not know how to go about initiating contact with him, yet this morning they both happened to be at the same place at the same time. She approached him to ask if they could do coffee soon, which he eagerly accepted. Her text ended with, “And just like that…”

Stay the Course…

Sheila

Are You The Wrist?

(In my desperation to understand the purpose of church, this is written for myself and for others who have been hurt by church and want to turn and run. Please don’t go—I really need you.)

Yesterday morning after what appeared to be a normal night of sleep, I awoke to pain in my left wrist and forearm. Range of motion for my hand was minimal. Having a busy day ahead, I took a couple Advil and headed out the door.

For several hours I was able to ignore the dull pain in my wrist but as the day wore on the pain became intolerable.

During the night, the intense pain woke me until at last I awoke my husband and he prayed over me. 

“What are you feeling?” he asked so that he would know best how to pray for me. 

After some time I recognized that beyond the pain and nauseousness was a “knowing” I have felt many times over the years: “This is spiritual” I stated very matter-of-fact. And so my husband confronted the realm of darkness hovering over my body.

Eventually peace filled our bedroom and my husband drifted back to sleep. 

This morning over coffee, I sat nursing my sore wrist, unable to move my left arm. 

“Isn’t it odd how when one part of the body hurts, it affects every part of the body?” I said without much thought.

Then, my husband shared that my useless left arm made him think of the scripture about the church being one body but many parts. How each part, no matter how seemingly insignificant, is vital to the overall health of the body—this reminder hit me like a ton of bricks. 

In my very recent struggles and attempts to understand “church” and feeling like my small part made no difference; I had decided that staying away from the church might be the best solution for a wounded ragamuffin like myself. A spiritual battle ensued as the forces of darkness never miss an opportunity to snatch a child of God.

My heart felt heavy with the truth of his words.

We read in I Corinthians, “The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ…Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.” (I Corinthians 12: 12-20)

Right now, I would be filled with gratitude if the left wrist would show up and function as it was intended to function. Are you the wrist? You are necessary for the body. Though seemingly insignificant, you cannot cease to be a part of the body. Without the left wrist, the entire left arm is rendered useless, which in turn affects the entire body.

Wounded pride refuses to allow the body of Christ to help when struggling and hurting. It is in humility (and great pain!) I recognize I am unable to survive without the support of the body. To be cut off from the body would bring death to my Spirit and my purpose in Christ. 

If you, like myself, struggle to understand church and its purpose--I want to tell you that I need you. You matter to me, to the body, and mostly to Christ.  I won’t abandon you anymore than I would abandon my own foot. You may not know it, but you need me too.

“Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.” (I Corinthians 12:27)

Stay the Course…

Sheila

It's Not Too Late (And You're Not Too Old)

The other day as I was looking for a code I had stored in my phone to enter a building, I found a completely unrelated note I had written to myself: “It’s Not Too Late And You’re Not Too Old.”

I can’t remember the circumstances leading up to me writing myself that note a couple years ago (perhaps an indication that I am getting just a tad old!), but the personal word of encouragement came at just the right time.

If you are anything like me; not allowing our minds to conform to what the world tells us can be a challenge. However, we are instructed in the Word that we are to be in the world but not of the world. We are referred to as foreigners in a foreign land. God’s Word is full of stories of men and women who did not allow circumstances or age to stand in the way of being obedient to God’s call on his or her life.

The first book of the Bible introduces us to such a person. 

Abram (Later given the name Abraham) was a successful rancher when the Lord said, “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.” (Gen. 12:1) Abram was seventy-five years old when God sent him away with this promise, “I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.” (Gen. 12:2&3)

Abram obeyed because he trusted God, but that doesn’t mean that he wasn’t afraid. When God made a covenant with Abram, He first spoke a word of encouragement: “Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward.” (Gen. 15:1)

Abraham was ninety nine years old when God promised to give him and his wife Sarah a child. When Sarah heard the news, she laughed to herself. Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old? Is anything too hard for the Lord?” (Gen.18:13)

When life becomes difficult and dreams feel as cold as the dead of winter, our Father whispers, “Do not be afraid, it’s not too late and you’re not too old. Is anything too hard for the Lord?” 

Abraham’s life was not easy. God tested his faith greatly. Even when asked to sacrifice his only son, Abraham’s love for God did not run dry. Because of Abraham’s obedience, God promised “through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you obeyed me.” (Gen.11:18)

I pray we can encourage one another in our faith as we press on through the difficult seasons of our lives when we feel that it is too late and we are too old. 

God has placed us where we are to reach those who do not yet know Him. Our lives and the lives of our offspring are in the hands of a God who has not forgotten us and who will fulfill His promises in our lives as we press on step by step in obedience.

God is our shield and our very great reward.

Stay the Course…

Sheila 

We Are All The Same

(This blog was written quite a few years ago and never shared. Whether or not you are a runner; this blog is referencing the human race which we are all partakers in! Let's make sure to not only focus on our own lives but to also look beside and behind us so that we can all cross the finish line!!!)

Last weekend I ran in a 10k city race.

With almost 400 runners at the start line; I surveyed the crowd of men and women of various ages, sizes and shapes.

As the race got underway, each person eventually found their place in the pack of runners until at last there was a rhythm to the race.  

You never know who you may end up running next to, or if you’ll run beside anyone at all.  Paces vary, ebbing and flowing, as each mile of the race takes its toll on a runner.  

For part of the race, I found myself running next to a man who was tall, and perhaps a little older than me.  And that is all I can tell you about him.  We acknowledged each other without words, as our eyes met.  His perseverance motivated me, giving me strength; and I believe that my presence strengthened him as well.  

I didn’t know his name, what he did for a living, or whether or not he was married or had children.  I didn’t care.  The feeling was mutual.  I realized something that we all know, but tend to forget over time; we are all the same.  Sure, we may look different, act different and have different backgrounds, but when it comes right down to it: we are the same.

In a running event, the rules change, as no title or amount of money earned gives one person an advantage over another.

Instead, each person is running for a personal purpose, pushing his or her body for one reason or another from the start line all the way through to the finish line.  

As I ran beside Tall Man, we passed other runners and other runners passed us.  At one point in the race I came upon a young man I had known for many years who had stopped running and was walking.  “Come on, you can do it.” I puffed as I ran past him.  “Okay, if you say so.” He responded, and he suddenly began to run again.  

We are all the same.  We all need to be encouraged and we all need to give encouragement.  Even without knowing each other’s names, we can speak life to another. Lies which tell us we are not strong enough to run a race of endurance flee with a single hope-filled word.  

We are all people who sweat, huff and puff, and run with our own form and style.  And we are all people who can choose to respect each other regardless athleticism or the lack thereof.  

Our journey is taking us to the same place for as many different reasons as there are different personalities.  Our goal is to see to it that we all finish our individual races and that we all finish the race corporately.  We run for reasons we wrestle with in our own hearts, and cheer for those who run ahead, beside and behind.

Sometimes friendships are forged through labored breathing on the trail, although words may or may not be spoken.   

And at the end of the race, when all have crossed the finish line, it is clear to each runner that we all needed one another to finish strong.  

We are all the same.

Stay the Course…

Sheila

The Amazing Race

(I just stumbled upon this story I wrote many years ago but never shared. I laughed re-reading it and realized that I am not quite as competitive today as I once was, but am still learning to live each day to the fullest in spite of my fears! I hope, in sharing this story, to inspire you to keep living big dreams!)

Many years ago, I convinced my husband that we should apply for the TV reality show, The Amazing Race.  The show takes teams of two and has them travel around the world following clues and doing whatever the clues tell them to do.  For each leg of the race, the last team to arrive to the pit stop is eliminated until at last the final victorious team takes home the million dollar prize.  I didn’t care as much about the prize money as I did about the thrill of the competition.  It was a crazy idea, but since I had gone along with some of my husband's crazy ideas throughout the years, he figured he owed me one and agreed to sign up.

The actual process of applying was quite lengthy, a fact which made me happy since I figured it would weed out the wanna-be participants.  We had to fill out a 20 page questionnaire answering everything from our greatest fear, to which celebrity people say we reminded them of  (in case you’re wondering, mine was Elaine from Seinfeld).  We also had to apply for a passport and put together a three minute creative video of why we should be chosen for the show.  

We decided to make our video clip as exciting as possible and had some friends who were willing to spend the day videotaping our “pretend” canoe adventure down the river which included, at one point, the appearance of us dropping over a huge waterfalls and coming up from the wreckage of our capsized canoe.  I don’t think we had ever laughed as hard as we did putting our video together.  Each Sunday night we would sit together and watch the next episode of The Amazing Race, imagining that we were there and feeling our pulses race trying to decide what we would do if we were in the same position as the participants.  It was the highlight of my week and led to some sleepless nights of imagining the thrill of racing around the world with my husband to places we had only heard about (oh, and beating the competition!).

I started dreaming about jumping out of a plane, one of my greatest fears, and wondered what it would feel like to conquer that fear if push came to shove (quite literally if you wanted to get me out of a plane!).  I started going to the pool to lap swim to prepare myself for the possibility of being dropped into the ocean, another fear of mine.  I knew my husband had fewer fears than me, and I definitely didn’t want to be the reason we didn’t win The Amazing Race, so I pushed myself to deal with my fears.  

As you might have guessed, we were never chosen to be on the show.  It was quite a disappointment at first, but then I realized something.  Just applying for the show had changed me.  My husband’s willingness to do something crazy just because he loved me, knowing how much it meant to me, is something I will never forget.  Hearing my heart beat inside my chest at the thought of doing something daring and crazy made me feel alive-- fully alive-- for the first time in many years.  

Applying for The Amazing Race made me look at life through a different lens.  It forced me to ask myself the question, “What have I been so afraid of and why have I held myself back from living life fully every day?”

What about you?  Are you living each day fully alive or have you given up on your dreams?  It’s never too late to wake up the risk-taker, airplane-jumper, ocean-braver inside of you and start living out who you were created to be.  

I double dog dare you!

Stay the course…

Sheila

Plant Your Flag

At the top of one of the most difficult mountains I have summited, is staked a flag. Each time I summit the mountain, a picture of the flag is taken as a symbol of my personal achievement. 

Someone ahead of me planted the flag a long time ago, yet in that breathless moment of exhaustion and excitement—I own the flag.

The astronauts planted a flag on the moon as a symbol of great achievement. Olympians carry flags representing his or her country to let millions of onlookers know the soil which holds the sweat of their individual achievements.

Flags are carried and planted by individuals who have taken ownership of something—something that is often of such value that a person is willing to risk his or her life in the process of staking the flag. Flag planting can symbolize both personal achievements as well as spiritual markers on our faith journey. A person willing to plant a flag is a person willing to stake his or her reputation on the cause or project connected to the flag.

We read an account of many heroes of the faith in chapter 11 of Hebrews.  Short accounts of flag-carrying men and women whose lives were spent clearing paths through difficult terrain, so that we might one day stake our flags next to theirs. Their flags were planted in faith, with expectation, and the ability to see with spiritual eyes something that was worth dying for, “All these people were still living by faith when they died. The did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance.” (Hebrews 11:13)

Personally, I have planted my flag on a mountain of my own choosing, only to later wonder if my chosen mountain was worthy of my sacrifice. Sometimes we need to sit still and pray and wait for God to plant a desire within us of such conviction that when the climb becomes difficult we remain unwilling to turn back because we consider the cause worth the cost. 

One thing I have learned: we cannot manufacture the passion, desire nor commitment necessary to stake a flag on our own strength. Only God, through the gift of His Spirit, can ignite us and consume us with desires that, once planted, result in staked flags that point to Christ. We become conduits through which God’s goodness and glory shine as we persist in our God-given ventures.

If you, like me, remain uncertain what it is that your life is to be spent for—in other words—you haven’t felt the freedom to start up any particular mountain with a flag in your back pocket which must be planted whatever the cost—don’t be discouraged. 

Not every season of life is a plant-your-flag kind of season. Summiting a mountain requires preparation. Prayer, reading the Word, resting in God’s presence and learning how to hear His voice are necessary skills if we are to successfully summit our mountains. In these moments of preparation, as our spirits groan before God, His passions and purposes are planted in the depth of our souls while all that is not of Him is pulled up by the roots. This can prove to be a painful season but is necessary for what lies ahead.

We don’t get to decide the length of our preparatory season prior to planting our flags. It is for us to trust that the One who has called us is “able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21) 

Stay the Course…

Sheila