(In my desperation to understand the purpose of church, this is written for myself and for others who have been hurt by church and want to turn and run. Please don’t go—I really need you.)
Yesterday morning after what appeared to be a normal night of sleep, I awoke to pain in my left wrist and forearm. Range of motion for my hand was minimal. Having a busy day ahead, I took a couple Advil and headed out the door.
For several hours I was able to ignore the dull pain in my wrist but as the day wore on the pain became intolerable.
During the night, the intense pain woke me until at last I awoke my husband and he prayed over me.
“What are you feeling?” he asked so that he would know best how to pray for me.
After some time I recognized that beyond the pain and nauseousness was a “knowing” I have felt many times over the years: “This is spiritual” I stated very matter-of-fact. And so my husband confronted the realm of darkness hovering over my body.
Eventually peace filled our bedroom and my husband drifted back to sleep.
This morning over coffee, I sat nursing my sore wrist, unable to move my left arm.
“Isn’t it odd how when one part of the body hurts, it affects every part of the body?” I said without much thought.
Then, my husband shared that my useless left arm made him think of the scripture about the church being one body but many parts. How each part, no matter how seemingly insignificant, is vital to the overall health of the body—this reminder hit me like a ton of bricks.
In my very recent struggles and attempts to understand “church” and feeling like my small part made no difference; I had decided that staying away from the church might be the best solution for a wounded ragamuffin like myself. A spiritual battle ensued as the forces of darkness never miss an opportunity to snatch a child of God.
My heart felt heavy with the truth of his words.
We read in I Corinthians, “The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ…Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.” (I Corinthians 12: 12-20)
Right now, I would be filled with gratitude if the left wrist would show up and function as it was intended to function. Are you the wrist? You are necessary for the body. Though seemingly insignificant, you cannot cease to be a part of the body. Without the left wrist, the entire left arm is rendered useless, which in turn affects the entire body.
Wounded pride refuses to allow the body of Christ to help when struggling and hurting. It is in humility (and great pain!) I recognize I am unable to survive without the support of the body. To be cut off from the body would bring death to my Spirit and my purpose in Christ.
If you, like myself, struggle to understand church and its purpose--I want to tell you that I need you. You matter to me, to the body, and mostly to Christ. I won’t abandon you anymore than I would abandon my own foot. You may not know it, but you need me too.
“Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.” (I Corinthians 12:27)
Stay the Course…
Sheila
