Yesterday or Tomorrow - Choose One

Over the last several months my personal world has been one of many transitions. Transition denotes change, which in turn can incite a desire to hold tightly to what we know is about to be removed from our life.

My husband and I watched a movie together last night which also involved a lot of transitions. The main character in the movie had lost his wife a couple years earlier and was currently living in a “stuck” stage. He was struggling wanting to move forward for fear of losing the memory of what his past held. In essence, he was a walking dead man, paralyzed to the point of total ineffectiveness.

This got me to thinking about life. Every day brings changes we must face whether we feel ready or not.

The only constant anchor we have is the God we serve: He is the same yesterday, today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8).

My inability to comprehend the mystery of an unchanging God does not change God's nature. The truth of God’s Word is never-changing, just like Him.

There remains one thing, however, which we alone must decide: we get to choose if we will surrender our lives and trust God when change happens, or not. Can we trust the God of Yesterday to set us free from all that holds us back; His healing touch ushering us into Tomorrow with strength and wholeness, regardless our circumstances?

Yesterday or Tomorrow—choose one. 

We cannot set up camp at the juncture of Yesterday and Tomorrow. His relentless pursuit of our hearts inhibits us from straddling the line between the past and the future.

Our main character eventually arrived at the same crossroad. 

Either which way the winding road of Yesterday has taken us, one thing is certain—Yesterday always leads us in the opposite direction of Tomorrow. I would know, I have set up camp in Yesterday too many times to mention.

Apostle Paul had a past with many regrets. Before God reached the heart of Paul (known as Saul before his conversion) he held the coats of those who stoned Stephen, the first Christian martyr (Acts 7:57-58). However, Paul didn’t wallow in the sin and regret of yesterday. He repented and was forgiven. His new heart was to know Christ. Paul went on to become a great missionary. He recognized the truth of who he was WITHOUT Christ but chose to live in the truth of who he was WITH Christ, “Not that I have already obtained all this (righteousness that comes from Christ), or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:12-14).

Paul grabbed ahold of Tomorrow and let go of Yesterday. He recognized his inability to hold onto both and still fulfill the purposes of God for his life. 

We are no different! Closing yesterday’s door will require taking ahold of that for which Christ Jesus took ahold for us. If healing, ask for healing. If forgiveness, then forgive. If using talents which have been lying dormant, brush yourself off and move forward in the direction of your God-given passions. Do THAT thing which restores joy to your heart, peace to your spirit, and produces a life fully surrendered to the God of our tomorrows. 

Redemption is waiting in the sunrise of Tomorrow. 

Stay the Course…

Sheila

You Are My Hiding Place

(I would like to dedicate this blog to those people in my life, both past and present, who have encouraged me and prayed with me through some dark valleys. Thank you for not giving up on this bedraggled believer. Let's keep fighting for one another so we can cross the finish line together.)

I had an interesting, unexpected revelation last week at the chiropractor’s office, of all places.

After taking X-rays of my neck the doctor reviewed his findings with me and my husband. “It looks like you’ve had severe trauma to your neck—can you tell me what happened?” he asked. I couldn’t think of too many things that had happened but thankfully my husband remembered circumstances from many years ago that might have contributed to my current pain. 

“Oh!” I stated, genuinely surprised to learn that trauma experienced years and years ago could have anything to do with my current situation. As the doctor continued to explain how anything that has ever happened to the physical body, even in childhood, is not forgotten, I felt a nudge in my Spirit. A lightbulb came on as I realized that the same truth spoken by the doctor about my neck was also true about the other areas in my life that were in need of healing. Those unseen areas which, when triggered, continue to cause me great pain.

What a surprise to learn that the parts of our stories which we wish to forget, or to keep hidden, are not forgotten nor hidden from our Father. It’s His desire that we bring to Him the parts of ourselves which have caused us shame, pain, or what we may believe to be irreparable damage. 

He is our Hiding Place. He is our Healer. He has not forgotten our past, He will not abandon us in our present and He will be faithful in our future.

God sees and loves our true selves--He sees both the glory and the grime.The traumas of our past (memories we remember and those we have chosen to forget) are not hidden from our Maker:

 “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.” (Psalm 139:7-12).

If like me, you have always believed that the past is best left in the past—Let me encourage you to take even that thought to your Father in the secret place of your prayer closet. Lay it at His feet—and ask the Spirit to reveal the truths which are hidden in the One who is always Faithful. His kindness and mercy will meet you. He will never forsake you.

As we acknowledge the sins, failures and hurts inflicted upon us by people in our past, He is faithful to strengthen us with a heart to forgive. In the same token we are given opportunity by the Spirit’s gentle prompting to seek forgiveness from God for those whom we have wounded with the sword of our own tongue. 

The Lord comes to us quickly when we set our prayers before Him like incense. 

Jesus, the very name which causes darkness to tremble, will heal the unseen traumas of our past, freeing our spirits so that we can step into the fullness of our adoption as sons and daughters of righteousness.

“He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” (Psalm 91:4).

Stay the Course…

Sheila

You're So Vain (you probably think this blog is about you!)

The story in II Samuel of Absalom, King David’s third son, is chock-full of valuable life lessons. 

Absalom had some terrific qualities though sadly most of them were external qualities—great looks, a charismatic personality, and beautiful hair to name a few. The book of II Samuel paints a clear picture of this handsome prince, “In all Israel there was not a man so highly praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the top of his head to the sole of his foot there was no blemish in him.” (II Samuel 14:25).

Sounds like the makings of a Hollywood star. 

We are told that Absalom’s hair alone weighed 5 pounds (II Samuel 14:26). Fabio ain’t got nothin’ on Absalom! The magnitude of Absalom’s hair is an important fact when we learn about how he died:

“He was riding his mule, and as the mule went under the thick branches of a large oak, Absalom’s head got caught in the tree. He was left hanging in midair, while the mule he was riding kept on going.” (II Samuel 18:9). While Absalom was dangling from the oak tree by his gorgeous mane King David’s military leader, Joab, “took three javelins in his hand and plunged them into Absalom’s heart while Absalom was still alive in the oak tree.” (II Samuel 18:14).

Unlike his father, Absalom was a self-centered man. He was, well—so vain. Although people loved him, he lacked the inner qualities required to become a great leader such as personal integrity, wisdom, and patience. I guess one could say that instead of seeking after the heart of God, he kept his mane-thing the main thing!

In truth, we are all vain to varying degrees. Our sin nature is constantly competing with our God-given nature. In contrast to his son Absalom, King David sought after the heart of God. He made plenty of mistakes in the moments he took his eyes off of God such as his sin against Bathsheba and her husband Uriah. But through his experiences David chose to live for God and not for self.

Even though Absalom plotted against his father to take away the throne, King David was shaken with the news of Absalom’s death, “He went up to the room over the gateway and wept. As he wept he said: “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you—O Absalom, my son, my son!” (II Samuel 18:33).

King David, no longer in the first season of his life, had gained wisdom and knowledge from his own sins which in turn brought him much success in his latter seasons. His selfless love toward his son is evidence of Kind David’s maturity, character and integrity. David sought hard after the heart of God, the source of his affirmation, his confidence; his everything. 

Absalom’s life is a reminder to us that the antidote to vanity (also defined as “empty pride) is humility. Humility (I am learning) can only be found in one place: on our knees; and in one Person-the character and nature of Jesus. 

In the final seasons of our lives, when our looks have flittered away, our inner beauty should far outshine the beauty and vanity of youth. 

Our true beauty is not hidden from our Father. We have been fearfully and wonderfully made by the One who is to be forever feared and praised. The One whom we find when we seek. The One who cares more about pure hearts and clean hands than tan bodies and long lashes. The One who heals the scars of our past and removes the invisible arrows of shame, regret, heartbreak and betrayal. The One who knows us intricately, beholds us breathlessly, and longs for us desperately. The only One worthy to write a blog about.

Stay the Course…

Sheila

Try, Try Again

This morning I started reading through the book of Acts. The book of Acts covers the 30 years after Jesus was taken up into heaven. 

As we recall Jesus’ last days on earth leading up to the book of Acts, we remember one of His disciples, Peter. Peter appears to be a confident man when he tells Jesus, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death” (Luke 22:33). Jesus answers, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me” (Luke 22:34).

Sure enough, Peter denies the Lord three times before the rooster crows. Upon hearing the rooster crow, Peter remembered the words of Jesus and he “went outside and wept bitterly” (Luke 22:62).

Imagine the shame and regret Peter must have felt in that moment. 

But he didn’t lay down and give up.

Luke, who recorded the above story, is also the author of the book of Acts. He begins the book of Acts by bringing Peter back into the story. He doesn’t give us a recap to remind us of Peter’s denial of Jesus. It’s as if Peter’s identity is no longer wrapped around his moment of shame and regret—because it’s not! 

When the day of Pentecost came “All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them” (Acts 2:4).  There were God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven staying in Jerusalem at this time. They were amazed and perplexed at what they were hearing since they all heard the disciples declaring the wonders of God in their own tongue. 

Guess who stood up, raised his voice, and addressed the crowd? You know it—it was Peter.

He wasn’t in a back room missing out on the promised gift of the Holy Spirit because he felt unworthy due to his earlier betrayal. He was probably MORE able to understand the mystery of the love of Jesus BECAUSE of his betrayal. He was very aware that without Jesus and without the Holy Spirit, he had nothing to offer. He was also able to recognize that WITH the Holy Spirit he could do great things for God.

In real life, we experience times of failure. Times when we don’t represent our Lord as we ought to. It’s when we acknowledge our sins and failures and weep bitter tears of repentance that we are restored and strengthened by the One who never fails. Our gracious Father doesn’t rub our noses in our failures but rather uses them to grow us more into the likeness and character of His Son.

Peter went on to reach many people for the Kingdom of God. He suffered and lived his life fully devoted to the works of his Lord. I’m sure he failed again and again in his humanity but he never gave up. His final breath was one of a martyr who had given ALL for his Lord.

Many have not yet heard the Good News. There is no time to waste sitting in our self imposed prisons of shame and regret. This same Holy Spirit that was promised to the disciples is also promised to each one of us.  “Peter replied, ‘Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins.  And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off—for all whom the Lord our God will call'” (Acts 2:38 & 39).

Stay the Course…

Sheila

Git Yer Feet Wet

A few days ago my husband and I took a spontaneous trip to Seward Alaska. Not being fisher-type folks, we had no idea that our timing and our camping spot would land us smack dab in the middle of hundreds of silver salmon that were being caught with snag hooks from shore by dozens of people. 

Combat fishing at its best.

I had an instantaneous personality change as I stepped out of the camper the next morning and saw people catching fish all up and down the shoreline. “Wake up, Babe!” I shouted as I peaked my head back inside the camper. “People are catching fish—get down there and get me some fish!” At first he thought I was kidding. Especially since we knew nothing about catching fish. 

Eventually we gathered up the recommended necessary gear and made our way to the shoreline. 

After a long stretch with no fish, an old man approached me. I was sitting on a rock taking in all the sights in this strange new world of fish madness we had entered. “Great day, isn’t it?” he asked. “Yes, it would be even greater if my husband caught me a fish!” I jokingly replied. 

“Want my fish? I don’t need it.”

“Umm…ok.” I slowly replied, not sure if he was serious. “Well, reach down there and git him off my line and put him on your string.” he stated very matter-of-fact. Simple enough except that it required touching a fish, and putting string through a still somewhat-alive fishes mouth with what looked like sharp little teeth in it. I was more afraid of the old man than I was of the fish so I did what he told me to do.

Later that afternoon the old man appeared again. “Hey, aren’t you the lady that I gave a fish to this morning?”  “Yes I am.” I replied somehow knowing that he wasn’t going to continue walking down the shore.

“Tell you what” he stated “how about I hook ‘em and you reel ‘em in? I don’t need any more fish and it looks like you do.” Before I could convince him that I was happy taking in the experience from my perch on the rock, he had walked through about 10 feet of water to cast his rod on the other side of me atop a rock. I held my breath hoping he would become so engrossed with fishing that he would forget about me. Only a moment passed when he yelled above the crowd, “Hey Lady! Git over here and reel this fish in!” All eyes turned to see who the old man was yelling at. 

I stood in my dry shoes staring at the water I would need to walk through to reach the old man and his fishing rod, which by all appearances had a fish attached to it. “Git yer feet wet and git over here. Hurry up!” He seemed oblivious to the fact that dozens of onlookers were being amused by his blunt command.

A group of women laughed as me and my wet feet ran past them to grab the reel from the old man’s hands. 

When we had caught our limit, he taught us how to fillet the fish at the cleaning station. Exhausted and cold (thanks to the wet feet) I thought we were saying a final goodbye when he stated that he would be down at the shore around 8:00 the next morning and would look for us there.

Sure enough the old man was back in the morning. A string of snot dripping off his nose from the brisk morning wind. He wouldn’t let me relax on my rock, but was determined to turn me into a fisherwoman. I told him very firmly that I wasn’t going to get my feet wet this time around. He pretended not to hear me. 

Somewhere along the way, I’m not sure when it happened, I realized I was having more fun than I had remembered having in a long time. I thought about absolutely nothing except fish. The cantankerous old man and I learned how to work very well together.  Mostly because I did whatever he told me to do. The seasoned fisherman knew a thing or two about ruling over the fish of the sea. I learned that his life had not been an easy one yet his face radiated with each cast of the rod into the ocean. His eyes sparkled even when his mind forgot where he had last placed his rod.

I hesitated leaving behind my new world of fishing, the ocean, the old fisherman with the drippy nose, the amazing people we met along the shoreline, and the beauty of nature. Our spontaneous trip gave me new insights and new appreciation for both man who is made in God’s likeness and man’s ability and gift from God to rule over the fish of the sea and everything else He created.

Just as we gleaned from the old man how to be a fisher of fish, God’s Word teaches us how to be fishers of men. Eternity is at stake. We can all do our part, as we put ourselves out there, to share of His goodness to those within our reach. We don’t have to be well-groomed evangelists, or preachers. We don’t even need to go anywhere. 

We simply need to get off our secure rocks and point people to the One True Rock.  Our unique individual personalities allows each one of us to reach the lost—those who know nothing about our God— if we are willing to share what we know. Even if we only know a little.

Now git out there, git yer feet wet, and start acting like the true fisher-person you were created to be!

Genesis 1:26 “Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

Stay the Course…

Sheila

Here is My Servant

As a woman who has been a part of churches most of my life, I have spent a great deal of time over the last decade asking God, “What is church supposed to look like?” “What am I missing?” 

I can’t seem to dig deep enough to perform in any capacity within the four walls.

What once felt “right” hasn’t felt right for a very long time. In a nutshell, my stage presence has gone from the girl spinning plates center stage— to zero stage presence.

Thank goodness.

Being raised under a roof where the unspoken mantra was “those who don’t work don’t eat,” it has been difficult trying to acclimate into church without wearing my performance garb. It’s like a chocoholic who finally reaches the breaking point of no longer being able to tolerate even the sight of chocolate. My performance addiction has led me to seeking God like never before for answers on how to BE the body of Christ—His church.

Yesterday I read about Jesus washing His disciple’s feet. I’ve read this scripture in John dozens of times (Jn. 13:12-17). When He finished washing their feet He asked them, “Do you understand what I have done for you?”

He continues, “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” (vs. 13-17)

We are reminded in Matthew 20:28, “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” And in Phil 2:6-7 we read: “Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant.”

In a prophecy spoken through the prophet Isaiah, God shares both the identity and the mission of His Son, “Here is my servant whom I have chosen, the one I love, in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him, and he will proclaim justice to the nations.” (Mt. 12:18)

Performance is not now, nor has it ever been, what our Father is asking from us. Neither within or outside of the church walls. Instead, He is asking us to follow the example of Jesus by living a life poured out in service to Him.

When Saul gets knocked to the ground on the road to Damascus the Lord says to him, “Now get up and stand on your feet. I have appeared to you to appoint you as a servant…” (Acts 26:16)

Interesting to note in later scriptures how Paul describes himself when addressing different audiences, “I, Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus.” (Rom. 1:1) Paul understood something very counter-cultural even in his day—there is no greater honor than to be considered a servant of Christ. 

Paul’s desire to live as a servant of Christ is evident not only in word but in how he lived his life no longer for himself but for Christ: “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Gal. 1:10)

Being a healthy, functioning servant within the walls of a church does not require us to perform. We are not trying to please men. Instead, we are called to serve God and to serve one another with a heart of humility in lieu of a to-do list of impressive performances.

With this new revelation permeating my own heart; my desire to serve both within the church as well as in my community has never been greater. We don’t need to dig deep within our own selves to find motivation—we just need to open the Word and follow the example of Christ.

Therefore, as servants of Christ: “Now that we know these things we will be blessed if we do them!”

Stay the Course…

Sheila

Let Incense Arise

A week ago after Sunday church service, my husband and I drove to Anchorage and took a walk along the inlet.

I don’t know why it’s easier to be completely honest when walking alongside a person rather than sitting across from him or her. Perhaps it’s the lack of eye contact or the beauty of God’s creation surrounding every breath. Either way, I had an honest moment.

“I haven’t opened my Bible in weeks.” I confessed. “Summer has been so busy, and working long days in real estate has taken a toll on me.” Before he could speak I kept going, probably trying to convince myself more than I was trying to convince my husband, all the reasons why I felt so far away from God.

When I stopped talking, my husband did something that he does often—using as few words as necessary, he simply stated, “God hasn’t stepped away from you. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you.” (James 4:8)

Duh.

Everybody knows that.

For a girl who has always felt that acceptance is connected and interwoven with performance, the thought of simply entering the throne of grace with nothing impressive to show for myself—well, I wasn’t sure if I could break through the good girl performance barrier. In my head I knew that my husband was right; but my heart  couldn’t grasp the simplicity of his statement. 

I pondered our conversation.

Yesterday I met with a trusted friend. We sat in my jeep in the rain and prayed together. The presence of the Spirit permeated the jeep reaching into my heart and into the recesses of my soul. 

I did not deserve to be met in such an intimate way; I had done NOTHING to earn the audience of my Father. So I simply surrendered and rested in His presence. Peace replaced confusion. Love replaced fear. Acceptance replaced doubt. 

Who can fathom the depths of His love?  (Eph. 3:16-19)

Sometime during the night I had a dream. In the dream I was still at the feet of the throne. Over and over I sang part of a worship song called Worthy of It All, “Day and night, night and day, let incense arise. Day and night, night and day let incense arise.” 

When I awoke from the dream, my heart was still singing this song in worship. All day, through meetings and appointments, the song is playing within me even while I am functioning in the world around me.

Our prayers, like incense, rise from our hearts to the heavens as a sweet aroma to our Father. Day and night, night and day. Even as we sleep, our prayers…rising like incense. 

He never sleeps nor slumbers (Psalm 121:2). 

His eyes are ever watching —ever beholding each one of us. Even when we have nothing but our bedraggled selves to bring before His presence; He runs to welcome us—His beloved.

The sweet aroma of our prayers brings a smile to His face and joy to His heart. 

We don’t have to understand; we simply need to believe.

“May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice.” (Psalm 41:2)

Stay the Course…

Sheila