The Void

Several years ago as I was praying I had an experience that is brought back to my mind often; it is something that no one really talks about: the void.

This particular day I decided to ask God why it was that no matter how busy or how still my life, there remained a continual ache inside, a gnawing of sorts—a void.  Regardless my life circumstances, whether well fed or hungry, struggling or thriving, in a crowd or alone, there remains within me at all times an empty space, a gap that cannot be filled.

God spoke softly to my heart and reminded me that for as many days as I walk on earth, the void will remain as a reminder that until I stand face to face with Him; I will not be whole.  This unfilled space within my soul could only be filled by Him.  

As our Father fills us with His Spirit, the pain of the void diminishes but never disappears.  The void serves as a reminder that we are to be in the world but not of the world.  

In Genesis, the first book of the Bible we only have to read to the second verse of the first chapter to discover that in the beginning “The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.” (Gen. 1:2 ESV)

Not only did God’s Spirit hover, but He then opened His mouth and spoke, “And God said, ‘Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness.

 

Oftentimes, we try to run from the void within; in essence, we are trying to run from God.  We may run to food, work, exercise, etc. in an attempt to fill the loneliness within.

In the futility of thinking that I can run from God, I am comforted to know that I am not alone when it comes to trying to hide.  David exposes his heart as he cries out to God, “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?  If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me, even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.’” (Ps. 139:7,11,12)

There are times when I am angry—I want the void to go away; I want to forget that I am not my own.  Yet God, in His unrelenting love, will not relinquish His grasp; refusing to allow the god of this age to devour my soul. 

As I stumble and begin to fall, the words of David once again resonate, “But he caught me-reached all the way from sky to sea; he pulled me out of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos, the void in which I was drowning. They hit me when I was down, but God stuck by me. He stood me up on a wide-open field; I stood there saved-surprised to be loved!” (Ps. 18:16-19 Msg)

One day soon the void will be filled and we shall behold Him face-to-face.

For now, we must feel the emptiness of our aching souls.  We must allow the ache to serve as a reminder to tell others of the wonders of our God.  

And when the emptiness wakes us in the darkness of night, it is in the stillness of His presence that He longs to speak to longing hearts.

Stay the Course...

Sheila Cote