The Truth About Mountain Tops

There is something strange that I have been participating in since my first week of returning to Alaska that is exhausting, unpredictable and somewhat addicting.  Up until this week, I could not put my finger on why my sister and I continue to return to hike an intimidating mountain not once but twice each week.

The other day as we made our first dedicated winter mount, breaking through snow past our knees on parts of the trail, gasping for breath as the cold air burned our lungs, I had to ask myself, “Why am I willfully here?”  

Most days, we have the trail to ourselves as few people have chosen this particular mountain as their path to inner healing.  Parts of the mountain's course is a steep 45-degree incline. Sometimes hikers are headed down the trail as we are inching our way forward.  Almost without fail, the hikers offer advice that might be helpful, never forgetting to let us know that “it’s windy at the top.”

One day, in particular, I was irritated as the casual comment once again flowed off the tongue of a seasoned hiker, “It’s windy at the top.”  

“Isn’t it lovely that everyone who passes us takes it upon themselves to let us know that they made it to the top?” I spewed.  “Not so windy down here, especially when you’re hugging a tree trying to catch your breath,” I huffed with just a touch of sarcasm.  

Humbling.  The mountain humbles me with each step. Discussions on the mountain come from a different mindset than conversations off the mountain.  The real me is safe to come out, as my humanity reveals itself with each labored step.  I am neither ashamed nor embarrassed with the exposure of my heart on my climb up the mountain.

In real life, we are all climbing mountains.  Every day we either take a few steps toward the top with hopes of a summit or slide down a few steps relearning something that we missed the first time around.  

It would be a lonely climb indeed if not for those climbing with us.  If one falls, there is one to pick them back up.  If one is weak, we borrow from the strength of our partner.  Real issues find real answers on the climb, not so much on the summit.  

Celebration and exhilaration replace exhaustion and hopelessness upon summiting the mountain (which is to “reach the highest level or degree that can be obtained.”) 

However, the truth about mountain tops is that the real change happens during the climb when you aren’t aware that something internal is happening. 

I’ll never forget the day we made our first summit.  

As we stood on the rocky peak, trying to maintain our balance against the strong winds, we threw our arms into the air and shouted, “IT REALLY IS WINDY AT THE TOP!” 

Perhaps the hikers had shared a moment of exhilaration with us as a means to motivate us to keep on pressing toward our goal.  They weren’t trying to belittle us or to rub our faces in the fact that they had beaten us to the top.  

Each time we turn to head back down the mountain, a part of my heart feels alive. Usually, a piece I did not even know had been dead.  

As we pass another hiker on our way to the bottom, we greet him as if we are old friends.  We chat for a moment, give him a high five, and then without thinking, we both shout back over our shoulders, “It’s windy at the top!”

Stay the Course...

Sheila Cote