Relationship Anemia

Many years ago, I learned that I was anemic; iron deficient. Because the changes in my body were gradual, instead of recognizing that I had a problem, I unwittingly learned how to adapt to the changes in my body. Until my body could no longer adapt, at which time I sought medical help when iron alone would not suffice.

I was thinking the other day about a recent trip where my husband and I had been able to connect with old friends. My heart was full. I had not realized it was empty. 

Could this be relationship anemia?

To prove to myself that longing for deep friendship is a God-given desire which goes beyond an obligatory text or “liking” someone’s Facebook post, I began scouring the Word of God. I needed to know: “Are deep relationships unrealistic in a social-media-Facebook-friend kinda world?”

Guess what?

From Genesis to Revelation I can attest that our fellow-sojourners stories share a common thread—they journeyed through life in deep relationships with one another. They broke bread together, served together, worshiped together, worked together, lifted each other in prayer, and so on. Day in and day out. Both good and bad hair days alike.

When considering the linchpin that connects the differences between Bible days and today, I noted one glaring observation. The people of old did not have a “Plan B.” Survival required people needing people. A life lived alone was not an option, or even a thought for that matter.  People’s most significant, and often only asset was one another. There were no cell phones or internet available to escape real life momentarily.

The relationship anemia I was experiencing had been happening for a long time. I had just learned how to adapt to my changing environment to the best of my ability in an attempt to feel connected to people, both distant and close.

Jesus, who longs to be our dearest and closest friend, tells us how invested we should be in our friendships, “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

To have such a friend that one might consider laying down his or her own life for might require spending an enormous amount of time together. (What an inconvenience, right?!)

Yet, how else can the bond of friendship strengthen to such a point that one might consider a friend’s life worthy of such sacrifice? 

Jesus showed such sacrifice by laying down His life for each one of us when we were still His enemy. Can a bond worthy of the same sacrifice form through social media or texting? In contrast, when face-to-face, everything is laid bare. There remains nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. 

In the everyday soil of grit, grind, heartache, failure, loss and victories, real friendships take root and blossom into bonds deep enough to justify the laying down of one’s own life for a friend. A friend whom you know deeply and love deeply.

Peter says it best, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (I Peter 4:8)

If you are experiencing relationship anemia, listen to your heart’s cry and make some necessary changes. 

Deep friendship is the antidote to relationship anemia.

Stay the Course…

Sheila