Relationship Anemia

Many years ago, I learned that I was anemic; iron deficient. Because the changes in my body were gradual, instead of recognizing that I had a problem, I unwittingly learned how to adapt to the changes in my body. Until my body could no longer adapt, at which time I sought medical help when iron alone would not suffice.

I was thinking the other day about a recent trip where my husband and I had been able to connect with old friends. My heart was full. I had not realized it was empty. 

Could this be relationship anemia?

To prove to myself that longing for deep friendship is a God-given desire which goes beyond an obligatory text or “liking” someone’s Facebook post, I began scouring the Word of God. I needed to know: “Are deep relationships unrealistic in a social-media-Facebook-friend kinda world?”

Guess what?

From Genesis to Revelation I can attest that our fellow-sojourners stories share a common thread—they journeyed through life in deep relationships with one another. They broke bread together, served together, worshiped together, worked together, lifted each other in prayer, and so on. Day in and day out. Both good and bad hair days alike.

When considering the linchpin that connects the differences between Bible days and today, I noted one glaring observation. The people of old did not have a “Plan B.” Survival required people needing people. A life lived alone was not an option, or even a thought for that matter.  People’s most significant, and often only asset was one another. There were no cell phones or internet available to escape real life momentarily.

The relationship anemia I was experiencing had been happening for a long time. I had just learned how to adapt to my changing environment to the best of my ability in an attempt to feel connected to people, both distant and close.

Jesus, who longs to be our dearest and closest friend, tells us how invested we should be in our friendships, “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

To have such a friend that one might consider laying down his or her own life for might require spending an enormous amount of time together. (What an inconvenience, right?!)

Yet, how else can the bond of friendship strengthen to such a point that one might consider a friend’s life worthy of such sacrifice? 

Jesus showed such sacrifice by laying down His life for each one of us when we were still His enemy. Can a bond worthy of the same sacrifice form through social media or texting? In contrast, when face-to-face, everything is laid bare. There remains nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. 

In the everyday soil of grit, grind, heartache, failure, loss and victories, real friendships take root and blossom into bonds deep enough to justify the laying down of one’s own life for a friend. A friend whom you know deeply and love deeply.

Peter says it best, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (I Peter 4:8)

If you are experiencing relationship anemia, listen to your heart’s cry and make some necessary changes. 

Deep friendship is the antidote to relationship anemia.

Stay the Course…

Sheila

Un•di•vid•ed

When we read about the men and women in the Word of God— about their struggles, victories, and sins—it’s important to remember that our individual stories are also unfolding every day.

This morning, I opened my Bible to the 86th Psalm, authored by David, titled “devoted trust in times of deep trouble.” David asks the Lord for something invaluable: “Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.” (vs. 11)

What does it mean to have an undivided heart? 

Undivided, by definition, means “not divided, separated, or broken into parts.” Undivided also means “concentrated on or devoted completely to one object.”

David had learned from personal experience the consequences of a divided heart. He was a real person—like you and me—sometimes prone to fulfill the desires of his own heart regardless of the consequences.  However, the result of his sin led to a divided heart. 

Ouch. 

And yet, David is referenced in the Word as a man after God’s own heart “After removing Saul, he made David their king. He testified concerning him: ‘I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.” (Acts 13:22)

David’s desire for God led him back time and again in repentance to the heart of God—and then God was able and willing to realign David’s heart with His heart.

How interesting that the few references we read in the Word of an undivided heart share a direct correlation in the telling of David’s story. 

David had personally received undivided loyalty when thousands upon thousands of warriors joined forces with him for battle to “help David with undivided loyalty…” (I Chron. 12:33)

Besides reading in the Old Testament about the undivided loyalty of the warriors toward David and David’s prayer for an undivided heart, in the New Testament we learn that we are to “live in undivided devotion to the Lord” (I Cor. 7:35(b) and with “pure and undivided devotion to Christ.” (II Cor. 11:3(b))

Clearly, living with an undivided heart is difficult—we recognize this reality from the start in Genesis when Eve is deceived by the serpent’s cunning, which quickly leads to separation, or a divided heart, from God. 

So where does this leave us—you and me? 

I am hopeful that when we recognize the truth of our humanity, in humility, we will drop to our knees at the feet of Christ—to the same prayer of David:

“Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.” (Psalm  86:11)

I believe the key to an undivided heart lies in daily prayer and surrender. God’s Word fills us with hope, not defeat: 

- We are the righteousness of God (II Cor. 5:21)

- We are holy because He is holy (I Peter 1:16)

- We are God’s children (Just like David!) (I Jn. 3:1).

I pray our unfolding stories will one day be read in their entirety by our children and our grandchildren as a testimony of the goodness of God.

Until then, let’s encourage one another as we endeavor each day to live in undivided loyalty to God. 

Stay the course…

Sheila

Absolute Surrender

As with most new year’s, many of us find ourselves being reflective of the year we have just journeyed through as well contemplative toward the new year we are preparing to embrace.

Yesterday I typed out two pages of goals or resolutions for the new year. However, today as I am spending time alone and asking God what He wants from me going into the new year, the answer doesn’t have much at all to do with my two pages of carefully typed out goals.

Instead, I realize that at the core of everything that is happening in my world lies one emotion which has the power to rob me from everything of life: fear. 

Fear, by definition, is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” 

I have been praying for many months for God to remove fear from within me. I know that fear is not from God. Some days I feel peace, but many days I have allowed fear to tighten its grip on my heart. 

This morning as I began to put together a plan for the upcoming year, I felt the grip of fear once again. 

“What is it that I am afraid of, God?” I asked, already aware of the answer to my question. My core desire is to trust God, and yet I am afraid to trust God implicitly (without qualification: absolutely). It’s a confusing juxtaposition. 

What might it cost me were I to trust Him with absolute surrender?

Absolute surrender is what God desires from me—and from each one of his children. 

Unbounded trust.

We cannot surrender part of ourselves, part of our marriages, part of our families or part of our careers to God. He wants all of us. Every thought, every breath, every word, every action. 

Absolute surrender. 

In the Gospel of Mark, a demon-possessed child needs deliverance. The father of the child had asked the other disciples to drive out the spirit but they could not. Jesus addressed the child’s father:

“How long has he been like this?”

“From childhood,” he answered. “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”

“If you can?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for him who believes.”

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

How desperately the child’s father wanted to believe that he could trust his life and his child’s life to Jesus. 

Thankfully, God does not expect us to have absolute surrender to Him on our strength. 

In I Corinthians 2 we read, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him” but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. (vs. 9&10) It goes on to say, “We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us.” (vs.12)

We don’t have to figure out how to fully surrender to God. He has given us His Spirit and He has given us the mind of Christ (vs. 16). With childlike faith we can pray and ask Jesus to change us to become more like Him. 

The antidote for fear is love. God is love (I Jn. 4:16) “There is no fear in love. but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.” (I Jn. 4:18)

Are you willing to join me and enter the new year with absolute surrender to God?

“Everything is possible for him who believes.” 

Stay the course…

Sheila

Today’s prayer: “Father, I come before you with empty hands and a heart that desires to surrender to You fully. There is nothing that I can do in my strength that has the power to change my heart. I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief. Holy Spirit, I permit You to fill me with all of You and to do whatever needs to be done within me to empty me of myself. Show me daily what my life is to look like as I continue to seek Your face and Your will. All that I have and all that I am are Yours. In Jesus’ name, amen.”