The Significance of Insignificance

I wrote this story several years ago simply to express what I was feeling but chose to keep it to myself as it felt, in the writing, that I was feeling somewhat sorry for myself.  Looking back, however, I can see the beauty of what God was allowing me to experience and the necessity of being able to share real feelings even when those feelings are not warm and fuzzy.  I hope you will be able to see the beauty in the sharing of the significance of insignificance as it relates to your own journey.  

Sometimes we are led on a journey that feels very much against our better judgment to embark upon.  We are led through the desert sands; surrounded on every side by desolation and barrenness. The journey is one of great loneliness with views of scorched ground and probing wind as far as the eye can see.

Life appears to be happening all around me during this season of walking the desert; yet the green paths are not accessible to me as my path leads further down into the dry desert sands.

Others pass by as they veer to the left or to the right onto paths leading to lush green landscapes, bubbling brooks and cool shade; but I am not given permission to follow others on their journey.  

Instead, I must press on and feel the full heat of the sand on my feet and the afternoon sun on my face.  I fear I may not make it through another day.

Life becomes unbearable as each day attempts to knock me down and keep me down.  There is no end in sight.  My plans and goals for the future are forgotten as I simply strive to survive the next step in front of me.  Gone are dreams; instead, one word forces its way past my dry throat and parched lips—“insignificant.”

There was a season when I felt God’s favor and blessing on everything that my hands touched and my eyes beheld.  Blue skies and green pastures filled my vision from every mountain top experience.  Seasons have a way of changing; if we are not paying attention they can catch us unaware.  I am slowly learning that I must embrace each season without questioning the One who not only made the seasons but whom also set forth the time and length for each season.

As my Maker gazes upon me and beholds me from His panoramic view, He refuses to turn His face away from His creation.  Even in the Valley of Despair, I feel His gaze.  Through my weak faith and small spirit, I beg Him to not turn away from me.  

He has shown me that He is doing a new thing.  I see only desert and feel only loss.  He has told me that never will He leave me or forsake me; I feel only loneliness.  

He shows me through His Word that He can take that which is insignificant and make it a vessel that He can use to bring glory to His name.  

This insignificant life must be emptied before it can be used to bring significance to the One for whom my heart beats unashamedly and desperately.   

I will lift up mine eyes to the Maker of all the seasons.

Stay the Course...

Sheila