In The Beginning

I don’t know about you, but I sometimes find myself going through a time of wrestling with God over issues I thought were resolved years ago about life, myself, and my beliefs.   

This week, after many weeks of feeling distance between myself and God, something finally broke within me.  This breaking point caught me off guard.

Here’s what happened.

After a long sabbatical from my first love, running, I decided it was time to see if I could still run.  I ached for the familiarity and comfort running has given me over the years.

Stay with me.

In the beginning, when I was a youth, running was the venue with which I was most able to clearly hear my Father’s voice.  I don’t know why, other than after the natural rhythm of breathing ensued, my thoughts and attention would turn to God; He in turn met me time and again on those pavement-pounding runs.  Pain found the exit door from my soul, joy was felt, tears were shed, and sometimes I would come to a dead halt from the sheer intensity of God’s presence.

This week as I slipped through the front doors of my new fitness club, I found my way upstairs to the indoor track.  Anonymity never felt as wonderful as I turned on my iPod and did what I have done thousands of times before: I ran.

Breathing found its rhythm, I found peace, and my Father was ever present as He has been since the day I took my first run.  Suddenly questions I had been wrestling with for weeks found answers; my heart could all but contain the joy of the moment.

In the beginning, God was a friend to Adam and Eve.  He longs for friendship with us too.  In the beginning, David’s heart was undivided toward God as a simple shepherd boy.  In the beginning, Saul chose to obey God but once he rejected God’s word, God rejected him as king.  As time passed and different opportunities presented themselves to either serve God or serve self; decisions had to be made.  As life became more complex, David and Saul often forgot the God they had known in the beginning. Saul chose a path of self-sufficiency but David’s heart returned to God.

In the beginning of a friendship, we are able to see the beauty of another's life.  In the beginning of marriage, we believe in a happily ever after. In the beginning of being a parent we believe in all the best for our children.  In the beginning of our relationship with God, we trust Him with childlike faith.  Then time passes, different opportunities present themselves, and we must make a decision.  

In the middle of life’s storms, it’s easy to forget our starting points.

If you, like myself, have been struggling to find answers to questions and don’t know where to turn—go back to the beginning.  Whatever you do that brings your heart back to its first love, ushering you into the presence of your Maker; do that thing.  Hiking a mountain, lying by a river, sitting in a deer stand, flying a plane, planting a garden; do that which you did in the beginning and watch what happens.

Relationships will rekindle, love will remember its point of commitment, dreams will refocus from blurry to clear, and hopes long forgotten will be given new life.

In the beginning things made sense and life was simple.

Because in the beginning there was God.

Stay the Course...

Sheila

Strength Through Suffering

 (I wrote this quite some time ago and stumbled upon it today.  Sometimes I need to be reminded of the truths of the Gospel when life doesn't make sense.  Maybe I am not alone in this need for truth when lies echo off the dark walls of the valley.)

For many years, when I thought about the sufferings of Jesus, my thinking would rest on the obedience of Jesus when He suffered and died on the cross.  I did not consider that Jesus endured incredible suffering leading up to the death He died on the cross for the redemption of our sins. 

Jesus was fully God and fully man.  Because He was a man with flesh and blood, he had to share in our humanity so that “by His death he might destroy him who holds the power of death – that is, the devil.” (Heb.2:14) 

Jesus was made perfect through His suffering.  We are to share in His suffering in order that we may also share in His glory.  

There is no other way to learn obedience than through suffering.  Jesus went first, making a way for us to spend eternity with him through His own obedience to His Father.  We learn in Hebrew 5:7-8, “During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission.  Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him.”

Because we know that we will suffer for Christ, it is clear that prayer to our Father is the source of strength that will keep us through our suffering.  If Jesus offered up prayers with loud cries and tears, so should we. God will hear our cries and answer our prayers; we are not hidden from His sight.

We have been given full access to the throne of God.  Jesus understands our weaknesses, “for we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet was without sin.  Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” (Heb.4:15&16)

So, instead of being shocked when we suffer, we get to come to our Father with confidence.  We are encouraged to not throw away our confidence and to persevere, “You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.” (Heb.10:36)

We are being made pure, holy, righteous and blameless as we go to God in our weaknesses in our times of suffering – there is no other way to become like Jesus.  Though painful, it is for our good.  Instead of running from what God is calling us into and taking the easy road, we are told that if we shrink back, He will not be pleased with us. 

Our weaknesses will turn to strength as we receive a kingdom that cannot be shaken.  Instead of complaining when we suffer, let’s follow the example Jesus set as we follow His steps, “Let us be thankful and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire.” (Heb.12:28&29)

Today’s Prayer:  “Father, it is so easy to read Your Word and see that suffering is part of what I am called to; but in the middle of suffering, I am weak.  Just as Your Son learned obedience through His suffering, I know You desire the same for me.  Please strengthen me and help me to not shrink back when the road becomes narrow and bumpy.  As I lay down pride, please cloak me with the cloak of humility.  I come to You in my weaknesses and cry out to You.  I am so thankful that Jesus’ suffering and obedience has given me full access to Your throne of grace and mercy.  Holy Spirit, I give You permission to do whatever is necessary in my Inner World so that I can become pure and holy and blameless in my Father’s sight.  Thank You for not forsaking me in my weaknesses.  In Jesus name I pray, amen.”

Stay the Course...

Sheila