A Kiss On The Lips

(I wrote this blog several years ago and didn't post it for fear that it may be taken the wrong way given the title.  However, having stumbled upon this blog and re-reading it, I am hopeful that the subject matter will be understood in its proper context...)

I remember junior high and my first “real” boyfriend.  That is, until he decided to plant a “real” big one right on my lips.  Disgusting!  I dropped him so fast he didn’t know what hit him.  I could tolerate hand-holding.  I could even endure a kiss on the cheek, but a full-on lip kiss was more than I had bargained for.  A kiss on the lips signified a depth to our relationship that at that time was strictly one-sided.  I simply wanted to be able to tell my girlfriends that I had a boyfriend...nothing more.  

Now that I am a little older, I see things slightly differently.  I have become familiar with Proverbs 24:26 (NIV) which says, “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”  

Do you have friends in your life that “kiss you on the lips” with their honesty?  Is it the deep truth of a full-on lip kiss?  On the other hand, do your friends tell you what you want to hear, brushing your cheek with a kiss?

I’ll be honest.  I have both kinds of friends.  I bet you do too.  

When I’m hungry for deep truth, when I’m ready for someone to hold up a mirror to reflect the truth of what he or she sees in me, I call on a friend who is brave enough to kiss me on the lips.  It is a true friend who puts speaking the truth in love above protecting a friendship.  Truth spoken in love provides a welcome honest answer even in the middle of pain.  Something is conveyed from the friend’s heart to ours that makes us realize that a quick kiss on the cheek is no longer satisfying.  

Once we experience a kiss on the lips, going back to thinking that a kiss on the cheek is acceptable is almost impossible.  There is much more at stake with a lip kiss, for sure.  A lip kiss says everything without saying a word.  It’s a commitment and a mutual understanding of a level of intimacy that is shared with few. 

An honest answer has a way of hitting our hearts in places that we have protected from past wounds, opening us up to opportunities to allow truth to bring healing and freedom.  With our new found freedom we are liberated to reach out to others on our path and share our stories openly, gifting them with a true reflection of them so that they, too, may walk into healing and freedom.  There is no fear or risk in taking a true look at oneself once a genuine kiss on the lips has been experienced.

Although an honest answer is like a kiss on the lips, an honest answer not spoken in love can feel more like a slap on the face.   

Emphasizing the comforting effect of the truth, The Message translation says, “An honest answer is like a warm hug.”  This analogy may assure those who prefer a hug over a kiss (maybe you had a bad boyfriend experience as I did!).  Whereas a kiss may make some uncomfortable, who doesn’t like a warm hug? 

As for me, I’m all for quality when it comes to my friendships.  I long for depth and truth – warm hugs and lip kisses.  

So, the next time someone asks for your honest input, take a deep breath and consider your options.  Will you brush him or her with a quick kiss on the cheek or will you take the time to share a warm hug, possibly followed with a kiss on the lips…a kiss of true friendship.

Stay the Course...

Sheila Cote