(I wrote this blog several years ago and didn't post it for fear that it may be taken the wrong way given the title. However, having stumbled upon this blog and re-reading it, I am hopeful that the subject matter will be understood in its proper context...)
I remember junior high and my first “real”
boyfriend. That is, until he decided to
plant a “real” big one right on my lips.
Disgusting! I dropped him so fast
he didn’t know what hit him. I could tolerate
hand-holding. I could even endure a kiss
on the cheek, but a full-on lip kiss was more than I had bargained for. A kiss on the lips signified a depth to our
relationship that at that time was strictly one-sided. I simply wanted to be able to tell my girlfriends
that I had a boyfriend...nothing more.
Now that I am a
little older, I see things slightly differently. I have become familiar with Proverbs 24:26
(NIV) which says, “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”
Do you have friends in your life that “kiss you on
the lips” with their honesty? Is it the
deep truth of a full-on lip kiss? On the
other hand, do your friends tell you what you want to hear, brushing your cheek
with a kiss?
I’ll be honest.
I have both kinds of friends. I
bet you do too.
When I’m hungry for deep truth, when I’m ready for
someone to hold up a mirror to reflect the truth of what he or she sees in me,
I call on a friend who is brave enough to kiss me on the lips. It is a true friend who puts speaking the
truth in love above protecting a friendship.
Truth spoken in love provides a welcome honest answer even in the middle
of pain. Something is conveyed from the
friend’s heart to ours that makes us realize that a quick kiss on the cheek is
no longer satisfying.
Once we experience a kiss on the lips, going back to
thinking that a kiss on the cheek is acceptable is almost impossible. There is much more at stake with a lip kiss,
for sure. A lip kiss says everything
without saying a word. It’s a commitment
and a mutual understanding of a level of intimacy that is shared with few.
An honest answer has a way of hitting our hearts in
places that we have protected from past wounds, opening us up to opportunities
to allow truth to bring healing and freedom.
With our new found freedom we are liberated to reach out to others on
our path and share our stories openly, gifting them with a true reflection of them
so that they, too, may walk into healing and freedom. There is no fear or risk in taking a true
look at oneself once a genuine kiss on the lips has been experienced.
Although an honest answer is like a kiss on the
lips, an honest answer not spoken in love can feel more like a slap on the
face.
Emphasizing the comforting effect of the truth, The Message
translation says, “An honest answer is like a warm hug.” This analogy may assure those who prefer a
hug over a kiss (maybe you had a bad boyfriend experience as I did!). Whereas a kiss may make some uncomfortable,
who doesn’t like a warm hug?
As for me, I’m all for quality when it comes to my
friendships. I long for depth and truth
– warm hugs and lip kisses.
So, the next time someone asks for your honest
input, take a deep breath and consider your options. Will you brush him or her with a quick kiss
on the cheek or will you take the time to share a warm hug, possibly followed
with a kiss on the lips…a kiss of true friendship.
Stay the Course...
Sheila Cote
