Pick Up Your Tent Pegs

Since our move to Alaska less than a year and a half ago we settled into a rental house that some good friends opened up to our family.  

As a realtor, I assist people with both the buying and selling of homes—that’s what I do.

When we decided to purchase our own home in Alaska, the thought was one of excitement.  However, once we secured a home and were about to “seal the deal” I experienced mixed emotions.  I was a realtor afraid of real estate.

The freedom of being a renter and being able to pick up my tent pegs in a moments notice brought a sense of freedom to my spirit.  

The thought of being a homeowner, driving the tent pegs deep into the soil of commitment, felt unsettling.

After sharing this fear and realizing the irony of a realtor being afraid of buying a home I thought about how we are to view the geography of our tent pegs.

In the Gospel of Matthew we are privy to a conversation Jesus has with a teacher of the law who says to Jesus, “Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.” (Mt. 8:19)

Jesus replies, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” (vs.20)

Jesus held His tent pegs very loosely by placing them in His Father’s hands.  

Interestingly, we are not told whether or not the teacher of the law left everything to follow Jesus.  Instead the question is left hanging in the air for each one of us to ponder for ourselves, should Jesus ask us to leave everything to follow Him.

Our security does not rest in owning a home or in a job.  The state we live in geographically does not matter so much as the condition of the state of our hearts.

Being willing to pick up our tent pegs in a moments notice allows us the freedom to walk into the realm of the spirit that we, as believers, have been called to walk.  

So, though we have driven tent pegs into the ground of home ownership once again, I know in my heart that my home is with God.  The pegs have not been driven so deep that they cannot be picked up once again.

Should our Father say, “Pick up your tent pegs,” I pray our response will be  as Ruth’s response to Naomi, “Whither Thou goest, I go.”  

Stay the Course…

Sheila

Hollow Legs & Whitewashed Tombs

During a recent move, a childhood memory surfaced of a time that our family relocated many years ago.  With the disassembly of our kitchen table, pieces of green, hard liver fell from the hollow legs.  Come to find out our little brother didn’t care for liver and had found a clever way through those horrific meals by secretly stuffing his liver pieces into the hollow table legs. 

Today, as I think about the day my brother’s secret was revealed, and the shock on our parent’s faces, I can only laugh.

We all have secrets that have been stuffed somewhere.

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus spares no punches as he addresses the teachers of the law and the Pharisees when he says, “You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean.” (Matthew 23:27)

Jesus goes on to say, “In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.” (vs. 28)

I think about this scripture a lot; especially on Sunday morning as I walk through the doors of the church.  I think about all those in my circle of influence who refuse to walk through the doors of a church because they are uncomfortable being in a room full of hollow legs and whitewashed tombs.  

In acknowledging my own struggles with being real, instead of walking through church doors wearing my “I’ve-got-it-all-together” smile I am learning to enter church “just as I am.”  Some days, I am not pretty.  I am full of everything unclean.

Humbling.  Uncomfortable. Frustrating.

Last week I had an honest encounter from a lady after church who had noticed that I was not looking like a happy, pretty Christian.  It was as if she had discovered my hidden green pieces of liver that I had been hiding.  Instead of judging me, she was free to reveal secrets hidden in the hollow legs of her own heart.

God is showing me that although we are made holy and righteous in Him because of Jesus Christ; we are called to be clothed in grace, mercy, love and humility-not full of self righteousness or hypocrisy.   Whitewashed tombs full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean is not what the world is seeking; they are seeking the God of truth and hope.  

As we pour out the unclean garbage stuffed within our hollow hearts; He replaces our garbage with His goodness.  

Authentic hearts seeking after God’s heart welcome everyone with open arms into the family of God, and into the church—even a ragamuffin like me.

Stay the Course…

Sheila

Grace, Amazing Grace

Hebrews 4:16 “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” 

Seems there’s been a common theme in my tiny world as of late: grace.  I’ve been caught on both sides of grace, but mostly on the humble receiving side.

God is amazing in his ability to teach us something that we don’t think we need to learn.  I approach the Throne of Grace thinking I have something to bring to my Father; I leave realizing how abundant is His grace for me, should I chose to receive.  It’s difficult to receive something that we do not see ourselves in need of—impossible, in fact.

The paradigm of my faith has been shifting over the last several years as God continues to reveal more truth.  I am not always eager to change or bend in His direction, which is where Amazing Grace enters, enveloping me with patient arms.

For years my energy has been spent trying to impress God with things that, come to find out, He is not impressed with at all.  One day Amazing Grace picked me up and sat me on the bench where I was able to watch but not participate in all the things that I once believed earned me a spot on the floor of God’s Throne Room.  

Everything was stripped away.  My resources, my titles, my friends, my identity—everything.

I can not begin to count the times I have taken laps around the mountain in search of all that was lost, in search of redemption.  Always, Amazing Grace awaits my arrival at the end of the trail; a place called Wits End.  

When I approach the Throne of Grace;  knees bent, head bowed, hands empty; every single time He accepts me just as I am.  I am slowly beginning to grasp the truth that it is because of His grace and mercy that I am accepted; nothing else. 

On the horizontal level, God has placed people in my life who are able to see me as He sees me.  These people also happen to possess a great portion of Amazing Grace.  For a woman who at one time thought she had so much to offer to the world, I am humbled to admit that the only thing I have to offer the world flows out of that which I have freely received.  To the level with which I am able to trust and receive, to that level only can I give.  Oh for grace to trust Him more.

My prayers as of late do not consist of requests to understand myself but rather carry a deep hunger to understand my Maker.  Spending time with the One who holds everything in His arms of Amazing Grace is what continues to save a wretch like me.

Stay the Course…

Sheila

Today’s Prayer:  “Father, Your Word speaks of Your grace and mercy in scripture after scripture.  I can read the scriptures over and over, but without Your Spirit revealing truth I cannot grasp the weight of the power they encapsulate.  Please meet me in my place of limited understanding and release the chains that bind my soul; Your truth shall surely set me free.  Holy Spirit, please flood me with grace, mercy, compassion and love so that I might be poured out as water upon cracked soil of a land that is parched and thirsty.  I am desperate for You.  May my life bring a smile to Your face and fill You with joy as I continue to PUSH and PRESS into the heart of knowing You, my Father.  In Jesus name I pray, amen.”

What is Prayer?

(This is the one devotional I wrote that I come back to time and again to revisit...I hope you can relate.)

Psalm 5:1 “Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing.”

Have you ever been so angry, frustrated or grieved that you were at a loss for words? Instead we sigh or groan or scream to God.  Could emotions expressed without words be considered prayer?

There is a motivating picture of war painted for us in I Chronicles as the Reubenites, the Gadites and the half-tribe of Manasseh—44,760 able-bodied men ready for military service, war against four opposing tribes.  As the war ensues, God hands their allies over to them “because they cried out to him during the battle.  He answered their prayers because they trusted in him.” (I Chronicles 5:18-20).  

Imagine this bloody war scene with 44,760 men crying out to God—cries in the thick of war, imploring God to come to their aid.  I am convinced that their prayers were not proper, pretty prayers spoken with eloquence.  They could have only been loud cries of desperation from grown men who realized their humanity and feared for their lives.  As they fought, shield in one hand, sword or bow in the other, there was no denying that the only hope they had was God.   

In times of great desperation, great pain, or grief, our prayers become cries, screams, groans or sighs; and sometimes complete silence or body-wrenching sobs.  

In Guerillas of Grace, Ted Loder’s perspective of prayer puts it this way, 

“How shall I pray?

Are tears prayers, Lord?

Are screams prayers,

Or groans

Or sighs

Or curses?

Can trembling hands be lifted to you, 

Or clenched fists

Or the cold sweat that trickles down my back

Or the cramps that knot my stomach?

Will you accept my prayers, Lord,

My real prayers,

Rooted in the muck and mud and rock of my life,

And not just the pretty, cut-flower, gracefully arranged

Bouquet of words?

Will you accept me, Lord,

As I really am,

Messed up mixture of glory and grime?

As God’s children, we are not left alone in our battles and our weaknesses, “In the same way, the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.” (Rom.8:26)  God hears our sighs and our groans, as the Spirit intercedes for us in accordance with God’s will.

In the messy battles of life, our cries and groans are lifted to heaven as we surrender our will to His.  When the battle becomes so dark that we fear we will not be left standing, He hears us and answer our prayers.  A breakthrough happens as we break down and trust God with every ounce of our being.

Even in our darkest moments, we are not alone.  

We shall stand— shield in one hand, sword in the other, God’s fearless warriors.

Stay the Course…

Sheila

Today’s Prayer:  “Father, there are times when I pray and I have no words.  The weight I carry can only be expressed with sighs and groans as I still myself in Your presence.  Sometimes in silence I cry out to You.  Holy Spirit, thank You for interceding with groans that words cannot express.  Without You, I would be left without hope.  Sometimes, in the middle of my battles, I am weak and unable to stand. You reveal Yourself to me in my weakness time and again with both strength and gentleness.  Father, Your unfailing love shakes me to the core.  In dark moments when I have nothing to offer, You still hold me in the arms of Your faithful love. I am truly a messed up mixture of glory and grime.  May my confidence rest on Your character and not on my circumstances.  I am desperate for more of You.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen.”