A Horse Named Courage

There once was an old horse named Courage.

Courage stood quietly in the pasture as the strong autumn wind played with her well-worn mane.

No one paid her much mind as she buried her nose into the bale of hay.  This had not always been the case—back in the day, Courage had been the object of great attention due to her strong, fast legs and her unmatched tenacity to be the first horse in on race day.

Young and determined, she had spent countless hours with her trainer learning everything necessary to make sure that the dust from the track was far behind her.

Remembering the anticipation of standing at the start gates just before the chutes flung open, signaling the start to the race, brought a surge of adrenaline to the old horse.  Courage was known for racing with the splendor and confidence of a horse who knew she was prepared to win.

The early days were a blur as she took in all the experiences of a winner.  She was well groomed, well fed, well known and well loved.  

But as time has a way of doing, the years eventually took their toll on Courage.  At first the recovery times between races were sufficient.  Small injuries would mend quickly and Courage would once again be off to the races.  Life, however, has a way of throwing curve balls, and Courage received more than her share of set backs. 

With every set back, Courage dug deep into the resolve of her spirit, searching for strength to make one more lap around the track.  

Eventually life’s brutality can leave its mark on even the most tenacious of creatures, even a horse named Courage.

What Courage had to give was no longer enough.  

Expectations placed upon her led only to disappointments.  Then one day, like silence in the still of night, Courage slipped quietly into the back pasture where she was quickly forgotten.

From time to time young race horses would graze in the pasture next to Courage.  They were young and naive as she had once been.  They did not care to hear of the days of past, of the stories that were locked within the heart of Courage.  Too caught up were they in their own moments of fleeting glory.  

Courage stood quietly in the pasture as the strong autumn wind played with her well-worn mane.

There once was an old horse named Courage.

Stay the Course...

Sheila

Pick Up Your Tent Pegs

Since our move to Alaska less than a year and a half ago we settled into a rental house that some good friends opened up to our family.  

As a realtor, I assist people with both the buying and selling of homes—that’s what I do.

When we decided to purchase our own home in Alaska, the thought was one of excitement.  However, once we secured a home and were about to “seal the deal” I experienced mixed emotions.  I was a realtor afraid of real estate.

The freedom of being a renter and being able to pick up my tent pegs in a moments notice brought a sense of freedom to my spirit.  

The thought of being a homeowner, driving the tent pegs deep into the soil of commitment, felt unsettling.

After sharing this fear and realizing the irony of a realtor being afraid of buying a home I thought about how we are to view the geography of our tent pegs.

In the Gospel of Matthew we are privy to a conversation Jesus has with a teacher of the law who says to Jesus, “Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.” (Mt. 8:19)

Jesus replies, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” (vs.20)

Jesus held His tent pegs very loosely by placing them in His Father’s hands.  

Interestingly, we are not told whether or not the teacher of the law left everything to follow Jesus.  Instead the question is left hanging in the air for each one of us to ponder for ourselves, should Jesus ask us to leave everything to follow Him.

Our security does not rest in owning a home or in a job.  The state we live in geographically does not matter so much as the condition of the state of our hearts.

Being willing to pick up our tent pegs in a moments notice allows us the freedom to walk into the realm of the spirit that we, as believers, have been called to walk.  

So, though we have driven tent pegs into the ground of home ownership once again, I know in my heart that my home is with God.  The pegs have not been driven so deep that they cannot be picked up once again.

Should our Father say, “Pick up your tent pegs,” I pray our response will be  as Ruth’s response to Naomi, “Whither Thou goest, I go.”  

Stay the Course…

Sheila

Hollow Legs & Whitewashed Tombs

During a recent move, a childhood memory surfaced of a time that our family relocated many years ago.  With the disassembly of our kitchen table, pieces of green, hard liver fell from the hollow legs.  Come to find out our little brother didn’t care for liver and had found a clever way through those horrific meals by secretly stuffing his liver pieces into the hollow table legs. 

Today, as I think about the day my brother’s secret was revealed, and the shock on our parent’s faces, I can only laugh.

We all have secrets that have been stuffed somewhere.

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus spares no punches as he addresses the teachers of the law and the Pharisees when he says, “You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean.” (Matthew 23:27)

Jesus goes on to say, “In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.” (vs. 28)

I think about this scripture a lot; especially on Sunday morning as I walk through the doors of the church.  I think about all those in my circle of influence who refuse to walk through the doors of a church because they are uncomfortable being in a room full of hollow legs and whitewashed tombs.  

In acknowledging my own struggles with being real, instead of walking through church doors wearing my “I’ve-got-it-all-together” smile I am learning to enter church “just as I am.”  Some days, I am not pretty.  I am full of everything unclean.

Humbling.  Uncomfortable. Frustrating.

Last week I had an honest encounter from a lady after church who had noticed that I was not looking like a happy, pretty Christian.  It was as if she had discovered my hidden green pieces of liver that I had been hiding.  Instead of judging me, she was free to reveal secrets hidden in the hollow legs of her own heart.

God is showing me that although we are made holy and righteous in Him because of Jesus Christ; we are called to be clothed in grace, mercy, love and humility-not full of self righteousness or hypocrisy.   Whitewashed tombs full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean is not what the world is seeking; they are seeking the God of truth and hope.  

As we pour out the unclean garbage stuffed within our hollow hearts; He replaces our garbage with His goodness.  

Authentic hearts seeking after God’s heart welcome everyone with open arms into the family of God, and into the church—even a ragamuffin like me.

Stay the Course…

Sheila

Grace, Amazing Grace

Hebrews 4:16 “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” 

Seems there’s been a common theme in my tiny world as of late: grace.  I’ve been caught on both sides of grace, but mostly on the humble receiving side.

God is amazing in his ability to teach us something that we don’t think we need to learn.  I approach the Throne of Grace thinking I have something to bring to my Father; I leave realizing how abundant is His grace for me, should I chose to receive.  It’s difficult to receive something that we do not see ourselves in need of—impossible, in fact.

The paradigm of my faith has been shifting over the last several years as God continues to reveal more truth.  I am not always eager to change or bend in His direction, which is where Amazing Grace enters, enveloping me with patient arms.

For years my energy has been spent trying to impress God with things that, come to find out, He is not impressed with at all.  One day Amazing Grace picked me up and sat me on the bench where I was able to watch but not participate in all the things that I once believed earned me a spot on the floor of God’s Throne Room.  

Everything was stripped away.  My resources, my titles, my friends, my identity—everything.

I can not begin to count the times I have taken laps around the mountain in search of all that was lost, in search of redemption.  Always, Amazing Grace awaits my arrival at the end of the trail; a place called Wits End.  

When I approach the Throne of Grace;  knees bent, head bowed, hands empty; every single time He accepts me just as I am.  I am slowly beginning to grasp the truth that it is because of His grace and mercy that I am accepted; nothing else. 

On the horizontal level, God has placed people in my life who are able to see me as He sees me.  These people also happen to possess a great portion of Amazing Grace.  For a woman who at one time thought she had so much to offer to the world, I am humbled to admit that the only thing I have to offer the world flows out of that which I have freely received.  To the level with which I am able to trust and receive, to that level only can I give.  Oh for grace to trust Him more.

My prayers as of late do not consist of requests to understand myself but rather carry a deep hunger to understand my Maker.  Spending time with the One who holds everything in His arms of Amazing Grace is what continues to save a wretch like me.

Stay the Course…

Sheila

Today’s Prayer:  “Father, Your Word speaks of Your grace and mercy in scripture after scripture.  I can read the scriptures over and over, but without Your Spirit revealing truth I cannot grasp the weight of the power they encapsulate.  Please meet me in my place of limited understanding and release the chains that bind my soul; Your truth shall surely set me free.  Holy Spirit, please flood me with grace, mercy, compassion and love so that I might be poured out as water upon cracked soil of a land that is parched and thirsty.  I am desperate for You.  May my life bring a smile to Your face and fill You with joy as I continue to PUSH and PRESS into the heart of knowing You, my Father.  In Jesus name I pray, amen.”

What is Prayer?

(This is the one devotional I wrote that I come back to time and again to revisit...I hope you can relate.)

Psalm 5:1 “Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing.”

Have you ever been so angry, frustrated or grieved that you were at a loss for words? Instead we sigh or groan or scream to God.  Could emotions expressed without words be considered prayer?

There is a motivating picture of war painted for us in I Chronicles as the Reubenites, the Gadites and the half-tribe of Manasseh—44,760 able-bodied men ready for military service, war against four opposing tribes.  As the war ensues, God hands their allies over to them “because they cried out to him during the battle.  He answered their prayers because they trusted in him.” (I Chronicles 5:18-20).  

Imagine this bloody war scene with 44,760 men crying out to God—cries in the thick of war, imploring God to come to their aid.  I am convinced that their prayers were not proper, pretty prayers spoken with eloquence.  They could have only been loud cries of desperation from grown men who realized their humanity and feared for their lives.  As they fought, shield in one hand, sword or bow in the other, there was no denying that the only hope they had was God.   

In times of great desperation, great pain, or grief, our prayers become cries, screams, groans or sighs; and sometimes complete silence or body-wrenching sobs.  

In Guerillas of Grace, Ted Loder’s perspective of prayer puts it this way, 

“How shall I pray?

Are tears prayers, Lord?

Are screams prayers,

Or groans

Or sighs

Or curses?

Can trembling hands be lifted to you, 

Or clenched fists

Or the cold sweat that trickles down my back

Or the cramps that knot my stomach?

Will you accept my prayers, Lord,

My real prayers,

Rooted in the muck and mud and rock of my life,

And not just the pretty, cut-flower, gracefully arranged

Bouquet of words?

Will you accept me, Lord,

As I really am,

Messed up mixture of glory and grime?

As God’s children, we are not left alone in our battles and our weaknesses, “In the same way, the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.” (Rom.8:26)  God hears our sighs and our groans, as the Spirit intercedes for us in accordance with God’s will.

In the messy battles of life, our cries and groans are lifted to heaven as we surrender our will to His.  When the battle becomes so dark that we fear we will not be left standing, He hears us and answer our prayers.  A breakthrough happens as we break down and trust God with every ounce of our being.

Even in our darkest moments, we are not alone.  

We shall stand— shield in one hand, sword in the other, God’s fearless warriors.

Stay the Course…

Sheila

Today’s Prayer:  “Father, there are times when I pray and I have no words.  The weight I carry can only be expressed with sighs and groans as I still myself in Your presence.  Sometimes in silence I cry out to You.  Holy Spirit, thank You for interceding with groans that words cannot express.  Without You, I would be left without hope.  Sometimes, in the middle of my battles, I am weak and unable to stand. You reveal Yourself to me in my weakness time and again with both strength and gentleness.  Father, Your unfailing love shakes me to the core.  In dark moments when I have nothing to offer, You still hold me in the arms of Your faithful love. I am truly a messed up mixture of glory and grime.  May my confidence rest on Your character and not on my circumstances.  I am desperate for more of You.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen.”

Back Stage

It’s taken nearly half a century for me to figure out a key reality about life: real life happens back stage.

As I stood with the congregation for worship this morning my mind reflected back on my week.  I pondered the moments I had spent in worship throughout the week in the hidden sanctuary of my own bedroom—alone.  With an audience of One, I expressed my thoughts, prayers and songs of worship.  Sunday morning worship is simply a continuation of worship, shared with my brothers and sisters in Christ.

It all starts back stage, where no one is watching.

Every area of life must find its origin back stage before entering center stage.

For example, parenting isn’t what happens on stage, but rather a byproduct of what has been happening for months and years backstage, in the sacred place we call home.  Parenting is what happens as you tuck your daughter into bed after a tough day at school and attempt to explain to her why girls can be so mean.  One day in a stage-left moment, barely visible to the audience, your daughter may be the one who speaks words of kindness when kindness is not merited.  

Athleticism and musical talent are often years in the making before seen by the smallest of audiences.  The back stories of those who have stolen the show with their magnificent talents are often marked with many years of struggles and failures back stage.  

The ultimate example of a person who spent most of His life back stage, away from the crowds, away from the fame, was the Son of God—Jesus.

Jesus never drew attention to Himself, everything He did was to bring glory to His Father.  For the first thirty years of His life, few knew who He was yet He never needed the applause of man to affirm Him; only the heart of His Father.  Though faced with every temptation known to man, He remained sinless and unwavering in His devotion to serve an audience of One.  

When the time came for Jesus' ministry to begin on stage, He poured out of Himself all that He had received from His Father while in the secret places, back stage, away from the crowds.  Everything He said and everything He did was done to promote God, not Himself.  Jesus never sought out center stage, never wanted the spotlight to rest on Him.

And when, at the end of His life, Jesus was given center stage, He willingly accepted the role as He hung on a cross with nails in His hands and feet, a crown of thorns upon His head.  In the moment that He took our sins upon Himself so that we might one day spend eternity with Him in Paradise—in that moment His Father turned His back on Him and He was left alone to feel the weight of sin and darkness.  It was in His greatest moment of anguish that He drew His last breath and spoke His last words, “It is finished.”  

And then the stage went black.  The main character was dead.  His life given so that we might have eternal life.  

Back stage doesn’t prepare us for a big moment on center stage where we can receive applause from an audience.  Back stage is where we are strengthened at the feet of the One who went before us so that when He calls us to the stage, we are able to pour out to others the same sacrificial love that was once poured out for us.

Stay the Course...

Sheila

Can You Hear the Song?

I’ve taken some time off from writing this summer.  

I’m recognizing that sometimes time off is necessary in order to live and learn and listen to all is happening around me.

Alaska’s short summers are not wasted as most Alaskan’s spend every spare minute enjoying the great outdoors.  There are mountains to climb, salmon to catch, wildlife galore, and roads full of RV’s, campers and fishing boats headed in every direction.  

Mostly, there are the many people you run into en route to your own destination; some locals and many tourists visiting from all over the world.  I find it fascinating to chat with these folks; you can learn a lot in an impromptu conversation with those met along the way.

Just as clearly as you can hear the songs of God along the mountain trails or hear the whisper of His Spirit blowing off the shores of the ocean, so can you hear the song of each passerby if you stop to listen.

I have spent a lot of time listening.  

Sometimes those with me are not happy that I stop to listen; but I stop anyway.  

Some of the songs I have heard have touched my heart, giving me new glimpses of God’s amazing glory, grace and love.

On the top of Mount Marathon I met a doctor from Alabama, who also wrote a book about an old native Alaskan he met many years ago.  The stories he shared of the rough life and the great passion of a native who has faced many great challenges were incredible.  The doctor comes back to Alaska every year to reenergize and to be inspired for his own life’s calling.

There was also a feisty group of tourists from England who had been together long enough to know how to annoy one another.  Even so, they were excited that I was willing to take a group picture of them as a keepsake of their time together.  They were more than happy to talk to me and my friends as an outlet to vent to someone outside of their own familiar group.  They were seasoned and real and beautiful.

One does not need to be on a mountain or standing by the ocean to hear the song of another.  I sat in a restaurant, listening to the song of the waiter, as he shared the sadness of being apart from his family for the summer.  In his noble effort to provide for his family's needs, he had missed important milestones in his daughter’s life, including her first steps.  

Listening to the song of others is teaching me to embrace all types of music.  Often, listening to the song of others makes me realize that my own song isn’t always meant to be shared.  Just as it’s difficult to both run in a race and cheer for others running in the race; sometimes we must chose instead to stand along the race course and cheer. 

Whatever you are walking through or working through in your own life, I pray two things.  I pray that God will place a person in your path who takes the time to hear your song.  I pray also that you might have the opportunity to look deep into the eyes of another and see the beauty of God, as you listen to the song of His beloved.

Stay the Course…

Sheila

Indefinite Postponement

Hebrews 6:13 (NIV) “When God made his promise to Abraham, since there was no one greater for him to swear by, he swore by himself, saying, “I will surely bless you and give you many descendants.”  And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.” 

When a person makes us a promise, our hearts have expectations of a promise coming to pass swiftly.  God’s promises may not come swiftly according to our timetables, but they are given to offer us hope and encouragement, and perhaps to teach us grief and pain as we are transformed into His likeness.

In one of my favorite books, Hinds’ Feet on High Places, Hannah Hurnard uses an allegory to show us the love of our Savior.  Her story tells of a girl by the name of Much-Afraid whom the Good Shepherd (Jesus) promises to take to the High Places.  In the process of reaching the High Places, comes a lesson of learning how to lay down her own will and accept God’s perfect will for her life.   She learns to accept the conditions and tests permitted by God, all the while holding on to His promise.  

“Much-Afraid looked to the left and right, but though it seemed incredible, there was no way possible by which they could continue to climb upward.  The hill they were on ended abruptly at this precipice and the rocky cliffs towered above them in every direction straight as walls with no possible foothold.  

“I can’t go down there,” panted Much-Afraid, sick with shock and fear.  “He can never mean that—never!  He called me up to the High Places, and this is an absolute contradiction of all the he promised.”

She then lifted up her voice and called desperately, “Shepherd, come to me.  Oh, I need you.  Come and help me.”

In a moment he was there, standing beside her.

“Shepherd,” she said despairingly, “I can’t understand this.  The guides you gave me say that we must go down there into that desert, turning right away from the High Places altogether.  You don’t mean that, do you?  You can’t contradict yourself.  Tell them we are not to go there, and show us another way.  Make a way for us, Shepherd, as you promised.”

He looked at her and answered very gently, “That is the path, Much-Afraid, and you are to go down there.”

“Oh, no,” she cried.  “You can’t mean it.  You said if I would trust you, you would bring me to the High Places, and that path leads right away from them.  It contradicts all that you promised.”

“No,” said the Shepherd, “it is not contradiction, only postponement for the best to become possible.”

Much-Afraid felt as though he had stabbed her to the heart.  “You mean,” she said incredulously, “you really mean that I am to follow that path down and down into that wilderness and then over that desert, away from the mountains indefinitely?  Why (and there was a sob of anguish in her voice) “it may be months, even years, before that path leads back to the mountains again.  O Shepherd, do you mean it is indefinite postponement?”

He bowed his head silently, and Much-Afraid sank on her knees at his feet, almost overwhelmed.  He was leading her away from her heart’s desire altogether and gave no promise at all as to when he would bring her back.  As she looked out over what seemed an endless desert, the only path she could see led farther and farther away from the High Places, and it was all desert.

Sometimes, by all appearances, we are being led away from the promise that God has given us.  Will we still trust Him even when we cannot understand, as we lay down our will in surrender?

Much-Afraid finally surrendered to the Good Shepherd, “I will go down with you into the wilderness, right away from the promise, if you really wish it.  Even if you cannot tell me why it has to be, I will go with you, for you know I do love you, and you have the right to choose for me anything that you please.”

Stay the Course...

Sheila

Today's Prayer: “Father, there are times when it feels that You are taking me away from the promise You have for me.  It is a struggle to let go of my will to trust that Your will is much better than my own; especially when it feels I am being led into the desert and wilderness.  I know that indefinite postponement requires me to lay down my rebellious heart as I hold onto the promises You have given me and wait for them patiently.  I know that You have the right to choose for me anything that You please.  I know that that pain and suffering I must feel will bring peace and joy as I refuse to turn back to the path of my own choosing.  Please hold me in the desert as You continue to teach me all that I must learn so that my life may bring You glory and honor.  For the best to become possible, I will stay the course and trust You.  You are all I’m living for.  I love you, Good Shepherd.  In Jesus name I pray, amen.”

Faith

Hebrew 11:8 (NIV) "By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going." 

If someone would have told Abraham that his life would be used to bless the entire world, I wonder if he would have believed it.

Abram (later given the name Abraham) was going about his business as a wealthy rancher, when one day God spoke to him saying, “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.” (Gen.12:1)  God promised to bless Abram and to make his descendents into a great nation; but there was one condition.  

Abram had to make a choice.  At the age of seventy-five, he had to decide:  would he obey God, or would he continue doing what he had been doing successfully for many years.  

Unbeknownst to Abram, the hope of the nations rested on his decision of whether or not to obey God.

One decision: worldwide ramifications.

Would walking away from the comforts of home, familiar surroundings, family and friends be rancher’s suicide?  Could he have faith enough to believe God’s promise of greater blessings in the future?  He could not have known that through his family tree, Jesus would be born to save humanity.

Enter faith.

Webster’s dictionary defines faith as, “firm belief in something for which there is no proof.” Faith is not a mystical word, used flippantly when referring to one’s belief; it’s a word with power that can change the lens through which we view life.

The Bible tells us:  “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” (Heb.11:1)

Abraham chose to be faithful to God, “By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.  By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country.” (Heb.11:8&9)

Sometimes God calls us away from what is familiar geographically; other times He may call us away from something in our lives that has worked well for a season, as He reveals that His plan and purpose no longer match what has become familiar.

Like Abraham, we must make a choice.

One decision:  possible worldwide ramifications.

Enter faith.

Stay the Course...

Sheila

Today’s Prayer:

“Father, I am no longer willing to live my life in a manner that settles for less than what You desire for me.  Today I ask that You would give me eyes of faith to believe in what I cannot see.  Please train my ears to hear Your voice above all the other voices clamoring for an audience with me.  I choose Your plans for me as I lay down my own plans for my life.  As I read Your Word, I know that Your promises are for me, Your child.  Just as Abraham, against all hope, obeyed You time and again, knowing that You had power to do what You had promised; so will I obey You.  Please help me to not waver through unbelief, but instead, strengthen my faith so that my life may bring glory and honor to You.  In Jesus name I pray, amen.”

Give Us a King

It’s interesting to note that in every circle of influence across the world, there are leaders and there are followers.

I don’t think the circles of influence with which we are associated offer much distinction in our desire to either lead or to be led. The choice to fix and keep our eyes on God is difficult as we watch our culture fix its eyes on people who have been placed in esteemed positions of power and/or authority

Without our full awareness, we are prone to find ourselves looking for a person to lead us and to fight our battles for us.

The good news is, as we bury ourselves in the Word of God, He gives us perspective as we learn from those who have gone before us facing the same struggles.

One of many examples is Samuel. 

Samuel was a man with a very unique background.  His mother, Hannah, was barren and pleaded with the Lord for a son.   Hannah promised the Lord that if he would honor her desire that she in turn would give her son back to him for all the days of his life.  God honored Hannah’s desire and Hannah honored the Lord, taking her son Samuel to Eli, the priest of God, to be raised in the temple.

When Samuel grew old, he appointed his sons as judges for Israel.  However, his sons did not walk in his ways.  All the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel saying, “You are old, and your sons do not walk in your ways; now appoint a king to lead us, such as all the other nations have.” (I Sam.8:5)

Samuel prayed to the Lord and the Lord told him: “Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected as their king, but me. As they have done from the day I brought them up out of Egypt until this day, forsaking me and serving other gods, so they are doing to you.” (I Sam. 8:7-9)

In an unforgiving culture, it can be difficult to follow the True King.  When we take our eyes off of God for a moment to look around at what everyone else is doing, we may stumble into idolatry. 

In what becomes a crisis of belief, each person is left to decide for himself or herself whether or not they will serve God or an idol.  An idol, as defined by Merriam Webster, is a “greatly loved or admired person; a picture or object that is worshipped as a god; a false god; pretender or impostor.”

Samuel was deeply displeased when the Israelites demanded: “Give us a king to lead us.” (I Sam.8:6) God’s words to Samuel convict my soul in my own struggle not to worship false idols: “It is not you they have rejected as their king, but me.” 

When the lines of black and white become muddied shades of grey, we must determine to honor the Lord our God with all of our hearts, all of our souls, all of our minds and all of our strength. 

Christ died on a cross to atone for our sins and to point us to the one true King. Therefore, let us enter the Throne Room and determine to worship Him alone.

Stay the Course...

Sheila

Turning of The Tide

I felt myself exhale this afternoon.  It was a deep sigh that I have been inadvertently holding for a long time.

Yesterday I listened as my husband described our life in one sentence to a friend we had lost touch with for many years. Leave it to my husband to use as few words as possible to express something profoundly impacting!  He said that if you were  to look at a beautifully decorated table, meticulously set for a special occasion, and then suddenly grabbed ahold of the tablecloth and  yanked it as hard as you could, causing the arrangement to become unidentifiable—that would sum up the past several plus years of our lives.

I do not share this information for sympathy; because there is nothing to be sorry about.  

Somewhere in the midst of our heart’s cry to be used for God’s glory, somewhere in the middle of telling God that we would do anything He wanted with our lives, regardless the cost…God took us at our word, and the table cloth got yanked.

Many days ended without solutions to problems bigger than we were capable of fixing.  Nighttime found our heavy hearts lying in bed as we held hands, staring speechless at the ceiling, praying that courage might find us somewhere in the night to face the light of a new day.  

We found the core of our beliefs tested and tried in ways we could have never guessed as the tide of God’s favor and blessing, by all appearances, was going out with no sign of a hasty return.

The loss which almost took us out in the mighty undertow was not only the loss of “things” but also the loss of people who we had believed would stand beside us regardless life’s circumstances.  

At times I was certain we would not survive; our strength ebbing away against the mighty grasp of Despair.

I struggle to find adequate words to express the beauty of how God is willing to work in the lives of broken people, such as ourselves, never letting go of us even when all felt hopeless.  In the middle of chaos, He changed the very templates of our hearts.  

Today, the tide is turning once again, swallowing us in the joy of the Lord.  We have done nothing to merit favor in the turning of the tide.

Just as I cannot explain how or why the tide went out so long ago; neither can I explain why the tide has now turned again.  The turning of the tide does not represent an easy life, simply a good life where one can exhale.  

I know that some of you have faced or are currently facing your own unimaginable losses. 

Sometimes loss or change is a gift from God, though in the moment, through the lens of our finite perspective, the gift does not feel pleasant.  Paul reminds us in Romans: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Rom. 8:28)

I share this turning of the tide moment with you today with the hopes that your hearts will be encouraged.  If you are stuck up to your knees in sand, looking off toward the direction of the ocean wondering if the tide will ever turn back again, do not lose hope.

God’s promises are written on your heart, never to be erased or forgotten.

I’ve said it before and I will continue to say it again and again: “You are deeply loved by your heavenly Father.” 

Stay the Course…

Sheila

Today’s Prayer: “I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip-he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you—the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” Psalm 121:1-8

One Thing I Ask of The Lord

Psalm 27:4(NIV) “One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.”

In looking through scripture, there is a common thread between some of the men and the women who desired to live their lives to please God.  Regardless the sins that tripped them up; they strived to place their trust and confidence in the One who would remain faithful and never forsake them.

As we take a look at God's servant, David, the comparison of David's humanity can serve as a reflection in the mirror of our own struggles.  

David was a man after God's own heart.(I Sam.13:14) He was divinely chosen and anointed by God, becoming one of the greatest kings of Israel.  (I Sam.16:13)

David’s life was filled with great accomplishments and stained with terrible sins.  It would be fair to say that he had some high highs and some low lows.  Before he became one of the greatest kings, he was known as a fine musician, so reputable that he played before the king.(ISam.16:14-23)  He was also a poet who wrote much of the Psalms, including the 23^rd Psalm.  

David went from being the youngest of eight boys, a courageous shepherd boy, to being a prominent king possessing more power than anyone of his day.  In spite of the power and privileges accompanied with being the king, there was only one thing that David’s soul craved.  It was something that no amount of power and no person could satisfy.  David says it well when he says, “One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.” (Ps.27:4)

Although David’s heart was led astray by sin, the darkness of his sin and the realization of his depravity led him back to the heart of God, “My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek.  Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper.  Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior.” (Ps. 27:8&9)

Just like David, we are God’s servants.  Just like David, we are tempted and sometimes led astray by sin.  We are truly a messed up mixture of glory and grime!

There is nothing and no one that can satisfy the true cravings of our soul except our Lord.

Stay the Course...

Sheila

Today’s Prayer: “Father, I know that only You can satisfy the cravings of my soul.  Nothing else and no one else can be to me what only You can be, my God and King.  I desire to seek You and know You as I am known by You.  I desire to love You and accept the love You have for me.  Please forgive me for the many times I push You away. I cannot fathom a love as great as Yours.  Please stay close to me and do not hide your face from me or turn me away in anger.  I am desperate for You.  My soul will not be satisfied with anything less than all of You.  I will seek You and worship You as I gaze upon Your beauty.  There is nothing else my souls craves, only Your presence.  I love You.  In Jesus name I pray, amen.”

un-fet-tered

Last week while driving down the road, my favorite radio personality said a word that grabbed me: "unfettered."  Being an odd gal who loves words, I pulled over and wrote the word down so that I wouldn’t forget it and so that I could ponder its meaning.

The adjective unfettered describes something or someone uninhibited and unrestrained.

Not bound by chains or shackles.

At church yesterday my newly embraced word unwittingly became the theme for service as Pastor played a video regarding prison ministry.  Different women shared their testimonies throughout the video; some women had been released from prison and some women were still donning yellow jumpsuits, confined as inmates within the facility.

I found the women dressed in yellow to be beautiful beyond words.  We  witnessed transformations of radiant women released from the chains of captivity by the One who has the power to “bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release for the prisoners.” (Isaiah 61:1)

Though held within the walls of a prison, these women were unfettered in their souls.  By giving God permission to embrace them, some women were able to acknowledge their true identities for the first time.  His glory shined through the eyes of unfettered inmates.

As I looked around at my fellow sojourners in the church, I wondered how many of us were masking our own yellow jumpsuits.  Free, yet not unfettered.  Our cries echoing David when he cried, “Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name.” (Ps.142:7)

The Word of God portrays men and women who understood how to live not bound by chains or shackles, even whilst being literally chained and shackled.  Joseph served God from the confines of an unfair imprisonment.  The Apostle Paul persisted in his call to share the Gospel of Christ in spite of his shackles and imprisonment.

Here’s the truth: no one can unfetter his or her own soul.  True unfettering happens in the secret places where we go to meet with our Father alone.  As we pour out our hearts to Him, confessing sins that are hooked deep within our hearts--He releases the hooks that hold us captive.

We hold out empty hands, welcoming the Holy Spirit to fill us with Him, and we are changed.  Instead of prisoners to sin, we become prisoners of Christ Jesus.  Our identity no longer tied to yellow jumpsuits; we become unfettered.

Unfettered freedom is contagious.

If you are living your life in bondage and long to be set free; He is only a whisper away.  If you are too weary to call on the name of Jesus, borrow the faith of a fellow-believer and ask someone you trust to climb into the foxhole with you to wage battle for your soul.

It is for freedom that we have been set free.

Unrestricted. Unlimited. Unhindered. Unfettered Freedom.

Stay the Course...

Sheila

White Picket Fences

As a little girl, I dreamed of growing up and living in an old country house with a wrap- around porch and a white picket fence. 

I don’t know why. 

Maybe I saw one in a movie once upon a time; the scene triggering some warm fuzzy nostalgia.  Or maybe every little girl dreams of a safe place where life is simple and summertime entertainment includes catching fire flies in canning jars.

We grow up as little girls and boys not really knowing what we want, so we watch the world through eyes of wonder.  We remain full of anticipation while waiting for our prince or princess to swoop by on a white horse, sweeping us away to a place called Happily Ever After.

However, as time goes by, we come to realize that Happily Ever After lies somewhere just beyond our reach.  We long for more than a happy ending.  It’s difficult to pin down the mysterious internal restlessness within.  I believe the restlessness whispers to our hungry souls; to the untamed parts which understand we were never created to be kept safe within the confines of a white picket fence.
 
Mystery, adventure, and a healthy fear of the unknown – for these things we were created.  Should we listen to the restless voice within, it may take us to faraway places where the water is unsafe, food is scarce and people’s skin is as colorful as an array of wildflowers.  Stepping outside of our picket fences may take us to inner cities where the homeless lie forgotten under bridges.  The restlessness persists, and we are forced to choose between surrender or safety.

Our spiritual hunger causes us to press into God with all of our hearts, souls, minds and strength, trusting Him with all that lies ahead as we keep our gaze heavenward.  It is no wonder the commitment required when Paul speaks of pressing on toward the goal, “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13)

If we ignore the inner groaning and go about living our predictable lives, existing quietly in the safe domain of our picket fences, eventually the groaning will fade.   We may convince ourselves that this is as good as it gets as we settle on the porch swing, cup of iced tea in hand,  swinging to the rhythm of the second hand, safely waiting for death to find us.

Although this type of resignation is a possibility, here’s the good news.  It’s never too late to step outside of the familiar fences that keep us from living wild and free.  The mysterious restlessness within is silenced only when we accept the adventure, embrace the mystery, and run hard after the One who created us to live fully alive for Him, with no inhibitions.

Stay the Course...

Sheila

Today's Prayer: "Father, I pray today that You would open the eyes of my heart.  You created me in Your image, for Your glory.  I need You to show me how to live each day fully surrendered to You.  It's so easy to forget that my life is not my own.  It's difficult to understand that the plans You have for me are so much better than any plans I have laid out for myself.  Please teach my heart to trust You with the simple moments of each day; I truly long to live for You.  Break the chains of fear that confine my spirit and set me free to live in the beauty of who You created me to be.  In Jesus name I pray, amen."

The Other Side of Popular

(There are thousands of disciples of Christ who can relate to the following blog. The last place we expect to be hurt is within the four walls of the church.  If this blog describes you, it is time to come out of the shadows and live fully for Jesus--He is madly in love with you!  There are several books regarding this subject matter that I would recommend: Wounded by God’s People by Anne Graham Lotz, Toxic Faith by Arteburn & Felton, and The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by Johnson & Van Vonderen)


There are things in life some of us aspire to that are not things at all.  Although not your typical open conversation, being popular may be something that you deem important.  I will confess that at one time, so did I.

Being popular puts one’s beliefs about him or herself in a place of hierarchy based on what those in the popular group have determined acceptable.  I do not speak as one unlearned on the topic of popularity. 

Almost before we learn to walk, we are subconsciously aware that there are two types of people in the world: popular or unpopular.  The definition of both groups is clearly understood by all, yet the white elephant in the room is seldom addressed.

I spent many years of my life tucked within what I perceived to be the safety of the popular crowd.  All was well in my world when I played by the unspoken rules of loyalty and when I respected what lines I could and could not cross in order to maintain my popular status.

However, when the Spirit within me was not in agreement with the vote of the popular crowd, when I rocked the boat, provoking the controller of the helm to anger at my inability to trust the words of a person over the words of my Maker; I was cast into the hungry waves of the ocean faster than Jonah.

Instead of death, I washed up on the shore on the other side of popular.  What felt like the punishment of betrayal became the gift of mercy from the One who walked on the other side of popular thousands of years before me. 

On the other side of popular, I lost everything that had once defined me.  Everything.  In  place of all that was lost, I was given the gifts of the Spirit-- which can be taken away by no one.  In the darkness of the Valley of Loss, salve was given to restore my sight.  Sorrow and Sadness were given to allow me to feel the grief of dying to myself so as to have the ability to feel the joy of living to please One.  My true identity was found somewhere on the ocean floor of forgotten and discarded.

My appetite for success and popularity were replaced with an appetite to know God more and to stay the course no matter the cost.  Being on the other side of popular has become my greatest accomplishment.  By the grace of my Lord and Savior, my greatest ambition to live a life that brings Him honor and glory, to love Him with an undying love, to leave a legacy of unshakeable faith for my children and my grandchildren--all this I pray to accomplish as I worship the One who will never cast me aside.

I care only about who He says I am. 

The other side of popular has brought freedom to my spirit and healing to my heart.
 
True to His unchanging nature; who He says I am does not change based on the opinions of those who believe themselves to be in the popular crowd.

If you are on the other side of popular, do not try to find a way of escape from the pain you are feeling.  Allow your Father to comfort you and to answer the deepest desires of your heart. 

Rest in your new identity.

The One who holds you is ever faithful to complete the great work which He began in you.  Nothing and no one can thwart the plans He has for you.

You are deeply loved.

Stay the Course...

Sheila