In the darkness, in the night,
Only One can bring forth light.
In the lonely broken places, places no one else can see,
Awaits my loving, gracious Father longing to meet with me.
He holds me close and though I’m weak and fear I cannot stand,
He draws me nearer, ever nearer and lovingly holds my hand.
There is something He has shown me—that though I feel alone,
He will never fail to meet me as I kneel before His throne.
There are questions needing answers; there are many things which I fear,
Yet there is peace within the storm as He relentlessly draws me near.
How can it be that the One who sees me, He who knows me like none other,
Refuses to leave me to myself, staying closer than a brother?
He is my God, whom I am learning to trust, though storms gust and gale winds blow,
Lessons learned midst crashing waves must be faced for one to grow.
And yet He draws me nearer, ever nearer, He never leaves nor turns away,
Ever so gently He does direct me through fog when days are grey.
Strongholds must be stripped away, and though the pain is great,
He continues to draw me nearer as I kneel before Him, trust and wait.
I know that He will keep me, though storm clouds temper my mind,
So I pour out my heart to the One who draws me near, as I ask, and seek and find.
In the middle of my weakness, in the broken shattered place,
He lifts my face toward heaven, ever filling me with His radiance and grace.
So, though my heart cannot understand and though my mind cannot perceive,
As He draws me nearer, ever nearer, I will stay here in His presence and humbly
receive.
For there is nothing else that matters, when in His presence I do stay,
I will ever love and seek Him; so draw me nearer, Lord, I pray.
Stay the Course...
Sheila Cote
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
In The Middle
There are landmarks when we travel that tell us where we are. Sometimes they are helpful and other times they are only informative; such as the small town in Wisconsin which informed me I was half-way between the North Pole and the equator. Knowing I was in the middle of something which wouldn’t impact my life one way or the other seemed perfectly safe.
However, in life—real life, I am learning that being in the middle of something looks much different. Truthfully, being in the middle of a difficult season can be confusing. There are no signs posted along the way letting one know that though it may feel like the middle, there may be a long road ahead still to travel before reaching the end. Being in the middle of something can last for minutes, days, weeks, months and even years.
The dictionary defines “middle” as an equal distance from the extremities of something; central. “Middle” is the point or position at an equal distance from the sides, edge, or ends of something; being at neither one extreme nor the other. Yet, in real life, being in the middle of a difficulty or hardship can most definitely take you to the end of something—yourself.
As challenges present themselves, we attempt to discern if our own struggles should remain a secret or if we are safe to share the truth of what our world looks like, even in the messy middle.
Oftentimes, we may feel validated to share of a dark season or a deep valley experience after we have reached the other side. Once we’ve put ourselves back together and are “all better,” our stories become safe as we cross from the middle of crisis to the safety of the other side.
Being in the middle of pain, heartache, fear, and circumstances beyond our control can cause us to retreat and fade away deep into the basements of our souls. Hope fades from sight when time does not bring us a happy ending.
I am learning that though I can easily lose faith in the middle of a tumultuous season, God still remains faithful. I am learning that sometimes dark seasons can only be brightened by the truth of God’s Word. I am learning that many things are lost during a storm, but there are two things which God tells us we must hold onto-- our courage and our hope (Heb.3:6).
If you are in the middle of something, may I encourage your heart today with Truth? Although there is much joy when standing high on the mountain; there is no place closer to God’s heart than when we are broken and messy, smack dab in the middle of high waves.
God is not hiding from us in the middle of our circumstances; instead He lovingly holds us as we allow Him to reveal all that must be revealed so that we may learn to trust Him and to know Him.
In the beginning there was God, in the end He will remain faithful—and in the middle He is the rock upon which we will stand.
Stay the Course...
Sheila Cote'
However, in life—real life, I am learning that being in the middle of something looks much different. Truthfully, being in the middle of a difficult season can be confusing. There are no signs posted along the way letting one know that though it may feel like the middle, there may be a long road ahead still to travel before reaching the end. Being in the middle of something can last for minutes, days, weeks, months and even years.
The dictionary defines “middle” as an equal distance from the extremities of something; central. “Middle” is the point or position at an equal distance from the sides, edge, or ends of something; being at neither one extreme nor the other. Yet, in real life, being in the middle of a difficulty or hardship can most definitely take you to the end of something—yourself.
As challenges present themselves, we attempt to discern if our own struggles should remain a secret or if we are safe to share the truth of what our world looks like, even in the messy middle.
Oftentimes, we may feel validated to share of a dark season or a deep valley experience after we have reached the other side. Once we’ve put ourselves back together and are “all better,” our stories become safe as we cross from the middle of crisis to the safety of the other side.
Being in the middle of pain, heartache, fear, and circumstances beyond our control can cause us to retreat and fade away deep into the basements of our souls. Hope fades from sight when time does not bring us a happy ending.
I am learning that though I can easily lose faith in the middle of a tumultuous season, God still remains faithful. I am learning that sometimes dark seasons can only be brightened by the truth of God’s Word. I am learning that many things are lost during a storm, but there are two things which God tells us we must hold onto-- our courage and our hope (Heb.3:6).
If you are in the middle of something, may I encourage your heart today with Truth? Although there is much joy when standing high on the mountain; there is no place closer to God’s heart than when we are broken and messy, smack dab in the middle of high waves.
God is not hiding from us in the middle of our circumstances; instead He lovingly holds us as we allow Him to reveal all that must be revealed so that we may learn to trust Him and to know Him.
In the beginning there was God, in the end He will remain faithful—and in the middle He is the rock upon which we will stand.
Stay the Course...
Sheila Cote'
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
The Dreaded Drift
Our family made a trip to Lake Michigan the end of last summer. Our youngest daughter wanted to be water baptized in a lake that looks and feels like an ocean. We wanted something memorable and less traditional to mark the special milestone in her life.
The weather was a bit rough as large waves rocked the shoreline. Our daughter and her friend, both lovers of the water, took off giggling into the jagged water, fearless and free. My husband and I, along with our friends who came along to celebrate the event, watched from the safety of the shore as the strong wind whipped sand into our eyes, hair and teeth.
Our daughter and her friend jumped into the waves and swam around, oblivious to the fact that they were slowly being carried further and further away from the protection of the four sandblasted adults on the shore. Their bodies grew smaller and smaller as they drifted down the shoreline out into the deep body of water.
Eventually they glanced our direction and we motioned for them to come back to where they could be protected, closing the gap between us. This process repeated itself throughout the afternoon as they continued to be captivated by the immediate joy of water and waves.
This morning, months later, as I sat down planning to read the book of Hebrews, I couldn’t get past the first verse of chapter two. Paul, the author of Hebrews, gives us a warning, “We must pay more careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away.”
I sat and pondered the verse, unable to continue. I hate it when that happens. I think it’s called conviction; God nudging me to reflect on the true condition of my own heart. It’s as if God is saying, “You need to get the impact of what I’m saying here!”
It’s easy to look in the rear view mirror and see the times I have drifted from the safety of God’s will. In those moments when I have chosen disobedience, the rebellion of my heart has blinded my eyes from Truth. Although God does not move nor change, as I become engrossed and captivated by this world, I slowly drift away from the One who whispers, “Be careful, pay attention!” Without an anchor, the undertow slowly pulls me away. Eventually something snaps me back to reality as I look around stunned that my surroundings are no longer familiar. In those moments, God seems far away as He stands on the shore patiently waiting for me to turn back to Him.
When we lose sight of our vantage point; we drift. Peace and joy escape us as chaos takes up residence in our Inner World. It takes only a small wind to set us off kilter. As we slowly begin to go with the flow, our senses dull as we drift away from all we know to be true.
Going against the dreaded drift has required me to surrender to my own independent will and surround myself with those whom are not afraid to call me out when I lose sight of my purpose.
As we hold ourselves accountable to those whom God has joined us with on our journey, we will stand firmly planted, unable to be moved by even the strongest current.
Stay the Course...
Sheila Cote'
The weather was a bit rough as large waves rocked the shoreline. Our daughter and her friend, both lovers of the water, took off giggling into the jagged water, fearless and free. My husband and I, along with our friends who came along to celebrate the event, watched from the safety of the shore as the strong wind whipped sand into our eyes, hair and teeth.
Our daughter and her friend jumped into the waves and swam around, oblivious to the fact that they were slowly being carried further and further away from the protection of the four sandblasted adults on the shore. Their bodies grew smaller and smaller as they drifted down the shoreline out into the deep body of water.
Eventually they glanced our direction and we motioned for them to come back to where they could be protected, closing the gap between us. This process repeated itself throughout the afternoon as they continued to be captivated by the immediate joy of water and waves.
This morning, months later, as I sat down planning to read the book of Hebrews, I couldn’t get past the first verse of chapter two. Paul, the author of Hebrews, gives us a warning, “We must pay more careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away.”
I sat and pondered the verse, unable to continue. I hate it when that happens. I think it’s called conviction; God nudging me to reflect on the true condition of my own heart. It’s as if God is saying, “You need to get the impact of what I’m saying here!”
It’s easy to look in the rear view mirror and see the times I have drifted from the safety of God’s will. In those moments when I have chosen disobedience, the rebellion of my heart has blinded my eyes from Truth. Although God does not move nor change, as I become engrossed and captivated by this world, I slowly drift away from the One who whispers, “Be careful, pay attention!” Without an anchor, the undertow slowly pulls me away. Eventually something snaps me back to reality as I look around stunned that my surroundings are no longer familiar. In those moments, God seems far away as He stands on the shore patiently waiting for me to turn back to Him.
When we lose sight of our vantage point; we drift. Peace and joy escape us as chaos takes up residence in our Inner World. It takes only a small wind to set us off kilter. As we slowly begin to go with the flow, our senses dull as we drift away from all we know to be true.
Going against the dreaded drift has required me to surrender to my own independent will and surround myself with those whom are not afraid to call me out when I lose sight of my purpose.
As we hold ourselves accountable to those whom God has joined us with on our journey, we will stand firmly planted, unable to be moved by even the strongest current.
Stay the Course...
Sheila Cote'
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Tsunami
I am up right now in the wee hours of morning, awakened by a dream so terrifying that even after waking up and realizing it was only a dream, my heart is still captivated by fear.
In my dream I must have lived close to an ocean. Unknown to me and everyone else in my dream, a tsunami was hitting. Water began to consume the streets. Fear quickly led to complete chaos; every person fighting to save his or her own life and that of their family.
I do not know how long my dream lasted, possibly seconds. However, it felt like a long time before my eyes opened and I slowly realized it had only been a dream.
As I lay in bed, still fearful, I began to pray for God to help me go back to sleep. Sometimes after a troubling dream and the realization that it was only a dream, peaceful sleep follows—but not this time. I wasn’t asking God for the dream to make sense, just wanted to go back to sleep and wake up forgetting that the dream had ever happened.
Instead of sleep, God took me back to my childhood and to memories that I thought were dead and buried. It was as if a video of the most terrifying moments of my childhood were being played back to me. I was reminded once again that some things in my present world are still being impacted by those things that happened to me as a child.
I was reminded of the many times I felt trapped; overpowered and helpless as I did in my dream upon realizing that I was no match for a tsunami. In each instance I remembered the terrible feeling of being a victim; fighting for that part of me which should not have been taken. Fear would strike my heart and paralyze my body. Many times my strength was not adequate to protect the tsunami from striking.
I believe that God is a God who heals. Oftentimes our healing comes in layers, each layer touching those parts of our hearts that have been marked off with yellow tape. The words “CAUTION, STAY AWAY” warn those who dare get close that the outcome of trespassing to those wounded areas of our hearts are dangerous and unwise. Yet, God in His goodness continues to bring us back to those dark places as we learn to surrender every part of ourselves to Him. He heals our wounds and lovingly clothes us with His character.
However, until we are willing to visit those dark places, they never get to heal. Instead, they lie dormant for a time, taking up occupancy in our hearts, as we attempt to live our lives tiptoeing around the yellow tape that holds us gripped in fear as victims. When we least expect it, a tsunami rises, revealing that which we had hoped time would forget.
Sometimes we get to take our pain straight to our Father; healing flooding our hearts as we weep in His presence. Other times we are asked to share our story with others; our vulnerability giving others permission for their own wounded hearts to find healing and freedom.
Ultimately, those things from our past which have marked us, no longer have the power to control us, as we allow God’s love to captivate our hearts in ways that are as powerful and overwhelming as a tsunami.
Stay the Course...
Sheila Cote
In my dream I must have lived close to an ocean. Unknown to me and everyone else in my dream, a tsunami was hitting. Water began to consume the streets. Fear quickly led to complete chaos; every person fighting to save his or her own life and that of their family.
I do not know how long my dream lasted, possibly seconds. However, it felt like a long time before my eyes opened and I slowly realized it had only been a dream.
As I lay in bed, still fearful, I began to pray for God to help me go back to sleep. Sometimes after a troubling dream and the realization that it was only a dream, peaceful sleep follows—but not this time. I wasn’t asking God for the dream to make sense, just wanted to go back to sleep and wake up forgetting that the dream had ever happened.
Instead of sleep, God took me back to my childhood and to memories that I thought were dead and buried. It was as if a video of the most terrifying moments of my childhood were being played back to me. I was reminded once again that some things in my present world are still being impacted by those things that happened to me as a child.
I was reminded of the many times I felt trapped; overpowered and helpless as I did in my dream upon realizing that I was no match for a tsunami. In each instance I remembered the terrible feeling of being a victim; fighting for that part of me which should not have been taken. Fear would strike my heart and paralyze my body. Many times my strength was not adequate to protect the tsunami from striking.
I believe that God is a God who heals. Oftentimes our healing comes in layers, each layer touching those parts of our hearts that have been marked off with yellow tape. The words “CAUTION, STAY AWAY” warn those who dare get close that the outcome of trespassing to those wounded areas of our hearts are dangerous and unwise. Yet, God in His goodness continues to bring us back to those dark places as we learn to surrender every part of ourselves to Him. He heals our wounds and lovingly clothes us with His character.
However, until we are willing to visit those dark places, they never get to heal. Instead, they lie dormant for a time, taking up occupancy in our hearts, as we attempt to live our lives tiptoeing around the yellow tape that holds us gripped in fear as victims. When we least expect it, a tsunami rises, revealing that which we had hoped time would forget.
Sometimes we get to take our pain straight to our Father; healing flooding our hearts as we weep in His presence. Other times we are asked to share our story with others; our vulnerability giving others permission for their own wounded hearts to find healing and freedom.
Ultimately, those things from our past which have marked us, no longer have the power to control us, as we allow God’s love to captivate our hearts in ways that are as powerful and overwhelming as a tsunami.
Stay the Course...
Sheila Cote
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