Before They Fall In Love

Before your children fall in love,

show them the value of a nest full of baby wrens,

take time to watch a zillion ants scurry about,

doing whatever it is they do to always look busy.

Teach your child to plant a seed and learn how to wait…so they can experience the joy of the miracle as the seed breaks its head through the soil as if to say, “I am here!”

Teach your child about nature, and science, and the sun, moon, and stars…

But most importantly, teach them about the Maker of ALL things both seen and unseen.

Show them that the air they breathe—each breath—is a gift from the One who knew them when they were in your womb…this is important.

Lead them to Jesus, to His unconditional love, and to His voice that breaks through darkness and fear.

This is a mom’s purpose above all else, because one day your child will fall in love.

You will no longer be the only voice that holds your child’s attention.

All the years spent exploring fall leaves, picking ripe tomatoes, and having conversations around the dinner table had a purpose that didn’t feel significant in the daily routine of life.

But one day the dinner table will be set for two once again, as it was before you held the title “Mom.”

And on that day, you will look back and understand that each moment held significance. 

Your heart will finally know that each bath, each struggle to brush through tangled hair, and each book read at the end of the day when you were spent from the duties of parenthood…it all mattered.

At that time, you will recognize that the time you spent reading the Word of God and praying (even the prayers spoken through angry, clenched jaws) was showing your child that there was someone much greater than yourself who you needed. Someone who loved you when the world was unkind. Someone who would also love them in a world that does not celebrate the beauty of a heart devoted to God.

Before they fall in love, they need to know the source of True Love. There must be something for them to measure the feelings of young love against to see if they can trust their hearts with someone who may become their world. And they will become your child’s world in ways you were never meant to be to them.

Before they fall in love, every conversation matters, even when they are difficult…especially when they are difficult. A part of your heart belongs to your child, but all of their heart is trusting that you have their best interests, their dreams and hopes, and their back when it feels that no one else cares.

One day, your child will leave, and you will wonder if you did enough to prepare them for the real world. 

So, lead them to the One who will never leave them, to the One who will hold them when you can’t, and to the One who loves them more than you do. Lead them to the One who will, in turn, lead them on every journey and eventually to “the one.”

Before they fall in love, loosen your grip enough to allow another to have space in your child’s world. Take a step back to leave room for the one who was created to complete your child and to love them in a way that you had prayed to God for… before they fell in love.

Stay the course...

Sheila

Tipping Point

Last week, I experienced a moment in my industry that was the final straw. It culminated 13 years of striving, feeling like I was never doing enough, and constantly comparing myself to others. This moment, this feeling of being broken, was the tipping point. Merriam-Webster defines a tipping point as “the critical point in a situation, process, or system beyond which a significant and often unstoppable effect or change takes place.” 

At first, I was angry, followed by mixed emotions. 

However, in the moment of finally coming to the end of myself, something else was birthed within me. When I finally laid my real estate career at the feet of Jesus, I experienced a profound sense of relief and freedom. Over the next several days, peace filled me in ways I cannot describe. I no longer felt concern over my success as a realtor or the lack thereof. I no longer felt that my identity was attached to a title. I no longer felt led to compare myself to anyone and no longer cared how much money I could earn.

I enjoyed one of the most peaceful weekends, indulging in the things that bring me joy—things that may or may not bring joy to others. In the sanctuary of the 5 acres God has blessed me and my husband with, I saw the blessings of every little detail of God’s goodness to us. And I realized that true identity is found outside of societal expectations.

Yesterday, I had a candid conversation with a good friend. We touched on true identity and asked ourselves, “When was the last time you felt accepted for who you truly are, outside of what you do for a living or how much you earn?” This introspective discussion led my friend to share a beautiful recent experience when he had felt like his true self—the experience had been so sacred that it had brought him to tears.

This morning, as I watched the sunrise from my favorite bench, I reflected on the last several days. As I sat in silence, I felt God’s presence. 

Instead of praying for everyday things, my heart was touched as the Spirit revealed to me the goodness of God in my life and that of my husband and our family. Instead of seeing disappointment and feeling unfulfilled, I could see the beauty of God’s blessings and provisions. I looked over the prairie and saw the morning dew glistening through the sunrise on the tall grass. Glancing to my left sat the old Airstream camper my husband and I recently purchased to renovate—a dream and goal we both share. Behind me sits our garden, tucked in with a fence my husband built to ensure we receive more of the garden’s bounty than the deer and bunnies who call our land home. I thought of all the meals we shared and the many hours spent preserving the food—both for our family and to share with others. 

For the first time in a long time, I realized that God has not called us to an easy life filled with fun and more money than we know what to do with—He has called us to a life of obedience. A life that remembers the truth of our identities; we are called to serve, love, and care for people. Jesus never questioned his true identity or calling. He never strived for the easy path, and I’m sure there were many days when He was exhausted and weary. He was never given the security of a home on earth to put down roots—His “forever home” was in heaven with His Father. So is ours. 

I sat unhurried on the bench—a grateful daughter— who finally understood her true identity: daughter of God, wife of Jesse, mother, sister, Mimi, friend—and realtor. Life is not a game of comparisons or competition. Instead, life is about trusting that God has you where you are for reasons that may not always make sense. His love for us and His plans for our lives will never fail. Nothing is more beautiful than feeling the peace of being one's true self in the presence of the One who created each of us for His pleasure and purpose.

Stay the Course…

Sheila

I Thessalonians 4:11 “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.”

Authentic

Merriam-Webster definition: Not false or imitation: REAL, ACTUAL. True to one’s own personality, spirit, or character.

I’ve been struggling to put words on paper recently—my own words. With so many programs created to “assist” a person with their grammar, or AI available to write your thoughts, answer your questions, do your research for you, or create anything you ask it to create—you would think all of these “assists” would make a writer feel relieved. But instead, I feel grieved. And convicted to a deeper level of authenticity. I agree with myself that I should strive not for perfection but for authenticity. 

I believe that God has given each person gifts and talents. I believe this because it is written in His Word. How do I find it in His Word without using Google or asking AI? I open my Bible and go to the back where the Master Index or Concordance is located, and from there, go to a word that I may want to study in various scriptures—find the word in alphabetical order, and then study the scriptures associated with that specific word or thought. The process takes time, requires delving into the scriptures, and can often lead to rabbit trails when reading one scripture, which may cause you to want to understand another subject. 

However, it’s in the PROCESS of studying the Word of God that we not only learn God’s truths and character but also learn from Him the truth of our own existence and how to live lives that mirror the character qualities of Christ. He tells us how to live in an evil world (Romans 12:2, Col. 2:20-22), how we are new creations in Christ, Christ’s ambassadors (II Cor. 5:17 & 20), how we have been given the spirit of wisdom and revelation SO THAT WE MAY KNOW HIM BETTER, the incomparable great power he has given those who believe (Eph. 1:17-19), how to live a life worthy of the calling we have received (Eph 4:1), how to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than ourselves (Phil. 2:3), to preach the Word and be prepared in season and out of season; to correct, rebuke and encourage with great patience and careful instruction (II Tim. 4:2)….and dozens upon dozens of other Words from God pertaining to life, death and godliness.

I found all of the above scriptures by looking up a single word in the back of one of my Dad’s worn and tattered Bibles, which I found in the back of the closet in his office on my last visit home after his death. The back of the Bible contains so many other studies, including character studies, various Bible readings, illustrated studies such as “Journeys of Abraham” or “Life of David,” and so on. 

Every word and story in the Bible is authentic, not false or imitation: REAL, ACTUAL.

In a world that is no longer a “what you see is what you get” world—I crave authenticity, don’t you? I love the feel and the smell of a tattered Bible—the joy of “finding” each book of the Bible. I find my desire to become more authentic within the pages and stories of those who have gone before me. In the journeys, lives, prophecies, history of the Early Church, and last days of Jesus—I discover the true purpose of my own existence. While digging out the gold of the Word, I am learning the gifts I have been given and how to stay “true to my personality, spirit, and character”—living an authentic life of service to my Creator and the most faithful lover of my soul.

Stay the course…

Sheila

You Know Me

"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all of my ways." Psalm 139:1&2

A few days ago, while hiking the trails of a 400-acre forest with my dog, as I do several times a week, I had a freak accident. In a nutshell, at about the halfway point of our hour-long hike, I took a fall while attempting to run past another hiker and his dog. My dog pulled hard and fast to the left while I was running straight, and ultimately, I fell hard, landing on my upper arm. The pain instantly permeated my body, and I knew in a moment that I was in a precarious position.

While the kind hiker helped me remember to breathe and kept me calm, I eventually sat down, leaning against a tree while he went for help. After contacting my husband to tell him where I was in case I blacked out, I was utterly alone on the trail with my dog. I felt vulnerable--in a state of shock, I began to pray. My prayer could have been more eloquent. Instead, it went something like this: "Help me Jesus, help me Jesus, help me Jesus." 

Hiking the trails or hiking anywhere has always been where I feel most like my true self. When surrounded by His glorious creation, I am honest in my conversations with Him. Only moments earlier, I had thanked Him for His goodness to me, recalling all the ways He has blessed me and my family. And now, as I struggled to breathe, feeling like a tiny dot in a large forest, I felt His peace and presence. 

"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." Psalm 139-7-10

God is omnipresent—everywhere, in every place and time. To say that God is "present" is to say that he is here with us, really here, not absent. He is the creator of heaven and earth, meaning He is in every location. He is also the creator of time—one without a beginning or an end. He has been present in the world since its creation, and there will never be a time when He is absent. 

We are never lost to God. No matter where we go or what we do, He is present. Although He knows every detail about us, His ultimate desire and greatest gift is that He allows us to know Him, too. 

One of Jesus's last prayers perfectly describes this desire: "Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. Now this is eternal life: that they may know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do. And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began." John 17:1-5

Reflecting on my trail experience, I am humbled and thankful for those whom God brought along the path (literally!) to help. Although I suffered a fractured humerus (upper arm bone), hardships have a way of bringing us closer to His presence. His love hits differently from a broken place when we can see our utter need for more of Him more clearly. 

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

Stay the Course…

Sheila

Today’s Prayer: “Father, thank you for your omnipresence. It’s difficult to understand that time is different in heaven than how we view it on earth—without beginning or end. Father, I pray for those who have not yet accepted your gift of eternal life. Your Word tells us that by grace, we have been saved through faith. We know that faith does not come from ourselves, and it is not by works—it is a gift from You so that no one can boast. Your Word tells us that if we confess with our mouths, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in our hearts that You raised Jesus from the dead, we will be saved. Today, I pray for Your gift of salvation to anyone who cries out to You with this prayer. Our greatest joy on earth is to know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom You sent. Please draw us closer to You as we seek You and learn more about You through the gift of Your Spirit and the power of Your Word. In Jesus name, I pray, amen.”

Every End is a Start

Almost exactly three years ago, my father passed from this life into eternity. 

His departure was natural, beautiful, painful, and mysterious. 

Almost three years ago, I stopped writing for this blog. Instead, I began writing a monthly column for our local newspaper, an idea I proposed when our neighbors and world were still keeping social distance. 

I began to interview local community neighbors for a column called Hello Neighbor. Each month, my focus shifts off of myself and onto a different person or specific topic. I have met and interviewed people who are similar to myself and people who are strikingly different from myself—and in the process, I have learned more about myself than I have wanted to know. For instance, to understand another's story, my mouth needs to remain closed, and my focus must be fully absorbed in the life and heart of another. I don't need to agree or disagree with another's perspective. I have learned to listen to stories that transpire in the mud and muck of life, to storylines that twist and turn, and ultimately to a consistent conclusion that things are not what they appear to be; people are not always what they appear to be. 

Often, the most beautiful unfolding of another's story is what happens to the one telling their story out loud for possibly the first time. Almost always, there are tears, and sometimes, I am caught off guard when such a moment occurs. In telling our stories, we are transported back to a time that feels like it never happened and as if it just happened today. Our stories reveal our journey in such a way that the emotions connected with the journey also revisit us. Emotions connected to sharing stories about our younger selves may bring new revelations in the telling through the eyes of our older selves. 

I know of few things in my life that have been as great of a privilege to participate in than to be an audience to a person I have just met in listening to their story. I can ask questions when my interest is piqued, but mostly, I'm learning to hold my tongue and give undivided attention to a person God has placed in my path for such a moment. 

Although we live in a world that idolizes celebrities, where many focus their energy and attention on social media, being an influencer, or presenting ourselves in a way that makes us feel seen and essential—I realize that often the people who leave the most extraordinary legacy are the ones who are unaware of their influence and impact. The teachers who poured into their students, the artist who turned an old tire shop into a home and a gallery for local artists, high school sweethearts whose love was so deep that several years after an accident left his girlfriend paralyzed from the waist down, he still married her. Today, they celebrate decades of good memories together despite their journey's difficulties. 

In writing another's story, I have learned that life is lovely, beautiful, complex, and challenging regardless of who you are. Careers are meaningful, but family is more important. Traveling the world is fun, but being with the people you love is what you will remember at the end of your life. Photos of who you are in your youth may not resemble photos of who you are when there remains more road behind you than in front of you. We are no less beautiful in our older skin than the younger one, at least not to those who truly know us, especially not our Maker. Significance is not found in what we accomplish but in who we become due to our accomplishments. And most importantly, every end is a start. 

My father's end of life on this earth was a start to a new life in eternity, a story that I do not yet fully understand. As I reflect on his life—how he lived, how he spent his time, and what mattered to him—I can better understand the truth of who I am. In telling another's story, I have learned the beauty of humanity—we are all a messed-up mixture of glory and grime. 

Stay the Course… 

Sheila

How to Run Up a Hill

(I wrote this blog many years ago as an avid runner. It was written to be lighthearted yet true. I dedicate this to my former teacher, editor, coach, running buddy, friend, and mentor, Mr. Russell. His recent death has impacted me in so many ways. His voice and red-ink edit will forever impact every word I put on paper.) 

Some simple things are just plain good to know for those just-in-case moments in life. At those unexpected times, you find yourself in a situation that catches you off guard, and you wish someone, somehow, somewhere along the way, had given you a heads-up. For instance, knowing the best way to run up a hill might be something that one day will prove invaluable. You never know. 

You’re lucky to be reading this article. One day, mid-hill, the advice I’m about to share could be the difference between popping the top (don’t worry, I’ll explain!) or lying down in the ditch and giving up (self-explanatory). 

Whether or not you’re an actual runner, like me, or a person who’s running this race we call life, we are all faced with hills from time to time. Sometimes we see them coming, and other times we turn a corner, and BAM, there they are. It’s hard to say which is better: knowing there’s a hill to climb or being caught off guard. Either way, the hill must be faced. 

Like any good competitor, you don’t want to just run up the hill; you want to conquer it. You don’t want the hill to think you’re afraid of it. Give it only a quick glance. Almost as if to say, “Yep, I see you, but you’re not all that!” However, knowing you’re at the bottom of the hill, now is not the time to get arrogant. 

All the little bumps in life prepare us for the hills we are destined to face. So, don’t dodge the bumps. They’re there for a reason. For those who like to be in control, it’s okay to not look good when you hit the bumps. Don’t worry about it. Keep your eyes on the road before you and know that the bumps won’t take you out of the race-they make us stronger. 

Although you’ve only glanced at the hill, let it quickly burn into your mind so that you can still see its size when you close your eyes. After this, lean into the hill and look no further than the next few steps. Here’s something that might surprise you. Your body will do whatever your mind tells it to do. It’s true. If you say to your feet to keep moving, believing that you want them to keep moving—they will keep moving. If you tell yourself that the hill is too big and you’ll never reach the top, your feet will stop trying. They will believe they are outmatched. 

Don’t start out too aggressively at the bottom of the hill. Lean in and slowly yet consistently, build momentum until you know you’re about two-thirds of the way to the top. Like in life, you will instinctively know when you’re at this point. Your mind may be screaming for you to give up. There may not be anyone beside you to cheer you on. This is when you’re thankful you didn’t dodge the bumps. This is when you decide how to reach the top of your hill. Gasping, panting, barely at a crawl, or popping the top with the grace and energy of a person who feels the strength the hill has produced? Decide for yourself how to ascend the top of the hill. 

So, my fellow racers, I challenge you to dig deep in this race we’re all running. Coast on the downhills, but never give up when facing the hills. Don’t try to stay pretty. Grunt and groan if necessary. An avid hill runner has rosy cheeks, is soaked in sweat, eyes are focused straight ahead, and is grinning from ear to ear at the conquest of each hill. 

Follow this advice, and someday, mid-hill—you’ll thank me. 

Stay the course...

Sheila

Junk Food Junkie

Recently, my husband and I watched a compelling documentary on plant-based eating. Before the documentary, I considered making some changes in our diet, so, being an all-or-nothing girl, I decided to jump in with both feet.

I arrived at the local grocery with a manilla folder containing five plant-based meals, all with a long list of ingredients located in mysterious locations throughout the store, such as fresh ginger (hint: it’s not in the ginger ale aisle!), flaxseed, soy milk, leeks and so on.

Fully committed to bags of foreign ingredients, I decided to start our glorious adventure with veggie burgers. I had pots and pans, a food processor, and a ninja blender all in use as I sauteed leeks and lemon juice and turned walnuts to dust with the ninja, all the while slowly boiling the liquid out of my brown lentils. The smell was horrific, but my attitude was stellar.

Long story short—the burgers were possibly the worst meal I have ever served to my husband in 35 years of marriage. We did our best to eat them, but we agreed to toss the leftovers.  

We enjoyed a Culver’s butter burger, fries, and caramel custard the next day. 

As I licked away the last of my custard from my spoon, I remembered a song from a record my mom had played when I was a kid called Junk Food Junkie (by Larry Groce). He first sang it in 1975. He talks about how he’s known by all of his friends as being healthy, “In the daytime, I’m Mr. Natural, just as healthy as I can be—but at night I’m a junk food junkie, good Lord have mercy on me!” His worst fear is: “I'm afraid someday they’ll find me, all stretched out on my bed—with a handful of Pringles potato chips and a ding-dong by my head.”

If I am honest, I have felt the same fear about myself from time to time. Not concerning food, but involving the church. It is easy to put on the church face, say the right things, and appear to be a spiritual hero. But then, Monday always arrives with its share of unfair circumstances, unexpected tornadoes, and people who don’t understand things the way they should. And suddenly, a thought, a sideways glance, a word that would not be welcome in the church, a judgment that does not exemplify the character of Christ, and a sinking spirit from the realization of the reality of one’s humanity become the truth of who I am. 

I become the me that I’m not proud of, the me who stares at her reflection in the mirror in an attempt to understand who that person truly is at her core. 

I believe that each of us deeply, and often secretly, longs to be true to the person we know God created us to become. Even in the moments—or perhaps, especially when we are aware of our depravity. If we are never willing to look inside, the authenticity that comes only through the lens of truth will never find its way out. And quite honestly, right now, the world needs to see the authenticity of a life striving after the heart of God like never before. And part of that authenticity might be allowing others to see us when we aren’t pretending to have it all figured out. 

Romans 12:2 reminds us, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Maybe praying for God to renew our minds so we can become more like Him might be a good starting point. His Spirit in us gives us hope and changes us from the inside out. We cannot muster enough self-discipline in our strength to emulate the glory of Christ within, but as He renews our minds, we are more clearly able to live each day in His perfect will. Kind of a slow process of becoming a pure, authentic child of God even outside of Sunday morning.

Last night, after four days of recovering from the veggie burger event, I was back at it with vegan vegetable curry chowder. Much to my surprise, and even more so to my husband’s surprise—the meal was delicious.

I don’t have a clue what tonight’s dinner menu holds. It could be cauliflower macaroni, or it could be a frozen pepperoni pizza. 

Good Lord, have mercy on me!

Stay the Course…

Sheila